Pantsdown Parade

With Al away in Ireland J &J decided to do a ride from John's house but, as opposed to doing the usual route through town and around the coast, John thought it would be a good idea to show Jon part of the epic non TCA ride route he had done with some members of the Meon Valley Mountain Bike club the previous week: At this point it is worth minuting (albeit embarrassingly) that John had done the 19 mile ride with 3 other guys who were much fitter, much more serious and much, much faster; resulting in him getting home very late, absolutely knackered and with legs like jelly. What was even worse was that the ride had passed by the doors of two good pubs, one with an excellent view over Portsmouth and the other with a good view of Porchester Castle, but stops for suitable refreshment had not been allowed.

Anyway, taking into account Jon's still depleted strength from his "Delhi Belly" condition, it was mutually agreed to do the ride at a more sedate speed, and to stop at a suitable hostelry for typical TCA nourishment. After the mandatory cup of tea (John now having educated Jon on the art of making a good strong brew) and a couple of low fat but tasty and nutritious chocolate brownies the intrepid duo set out.

Steady progress was made, and both of riders took their chance to look at the spectacular views from the top of Portsdown hill which rises over Pompey (or 'pants down' hill as locals know it on account of the rather dubious nocturnal activities which take place at the location!). We then took a short cut, which lead us down to sea level in Pompey and then took a scenic route round to the Porchester Castle pub. Events were to transpire to stop us getting to the pub, notably two punctures in John's new Bontrager Mud X tyres: Although carrying a spare inner tube the two punctures along with then the inevitable need to keep stopping to pump the flat tyre up meant that progress was slow - we carried on to the Castle in the Air pub 1 mile from home.

It must be said John had lost his sense of humour at this stage, and even rang Mrs John to get her to drive the mile to pick the bike up, whilst we drank our pints of fine Abbots Ale. Mrs John's reply was choice but polite, so Jon cycled back to the Helyer's household while John could only push his bike home. Things could only get better!

Mrs John had prepared a fine shepherds pie made with Haggis (left over from a fine Burns night supper) which was eagerly consumed accompanied by fine wine and beer. To round the evening off we then had ginger cake with vanilla ice cream while watching Gordon Ramsey berate some poor (but must be said deserving) US restaurant owner and chief, with the usual Gordon mixture of colourful expletives.

Being that our erstwhile TCA founder member was not present the methods of route recording and picture taking were faulty or non existent, i.e. the Garmin GPS unit John had ran out of battery power, and a camera was forgotten. For the record the route can best be described thus: flat - slight hill - downhill - flat - bloody steep hill - slight incline - level - good downhill - flat.

(Posted by: John)