Going Urban

In customary fashion Al turned up first and, with tea already made, tucked into the homemade flapjacks laid on by John. Shortly afterwards John and Al were questioning whether to answer the door, thinking it might be Christmas carol singers... much to their disbelief it was Jon who had arrived uncharacteristically early.

It had been a while since the TCA had done an urban ride, and also had had the chance to sample Mrs John’s excellent food. John had therefore been very busy making sure Helyer Mansion was seasonaly decorated; the appropriate amount, and carefully positioned Christmas decorations and thoughtfully decorated and well lit tree were all in place. In fact planes landing at Southampton now have an extra beacon for reference!

There was some debate as to which way round we would tackle the 'usual' Fareham route but it was finally decided to do it the normal way, i.e. clockwise. This was on account of the two pub stops being in the last third of the ride this way round, the only con being the prevailing headwind along Lee-on-Solent seafront. The opposite direction would finish with the relatively featureless haul back up the Gosport Road rather than the short hop home from the Hallowed Shire of Titchfield.

The trio turned to bike fettling in the traditional manner - Al had turned up with what looked like a bag lady’s bike - adorned with all manner of bolt-on goodies - and then insisted in giving John a guided tour showing off the new handlebars, rack, stem, mudguards (before John fell asleep...). On the other hand John had decided to use his modified cyclocross bike, hoping that it might help him keep up with Al and Jon. As ever Jon turned up with his trusty steed, with his new wide tractor type tyres fitted.

Jon suddenly became quite anxious about the task ahead and came up with a pathetic excuse that he had left his light cables at home and would therefore have to duck out. For once Al came to the rescue and was able to supply him the spare set he had in his box of tricks (for those who have not read any previous blogs, it is usually Al who needs to borrow stuff, sometimes for around 18 months, i.e. Jon's tyres).

Following last week's experience without waterproof trousers, John and Al adorned a pair as rain was forecasted and finally the riders headed down to the Gosport Ferry, stopping to take the usual TCA picture in front of the Spinnaker tower; Al commented how disappointed he was that it was not decked out in Christmas lights. There was a brief discussion regarding a proposal by Al and Jon to cross on the ferry over to Portsmouth for a beer but this was quickly dismissed by the ride leader, John. Instead we headed along the costal path past Haslar Hospital and down to Stokes Bay. At this point we encountered the head on cold winds, but in true peloton fashion John and Al took it in turns to head the ride. Jon thought he was being crafty lurking at the back but it has been noted that he was rarely seen to “do his bit” up front, until not so subtle comments were made by Al.

The TCA model Reflective Overtrousers

Beside the Spinnaker Tower

From Stokes Bay, round to the first stop in Lee on Solent, the wind was relentless, but Al and Jon showed true TCA spirit and were even seen racing each other. John was left behind a couple of times (even though he was on his 'fast' bike): Too many business lunches and too much travel continues to take its toll on his waistline and fitness. The Osbourne View beckoned and all were ready for the first pint, of Pickled Partridge after their excursions.

It was Al's round and he returned from the bar fuming at the incompetence of the barman who was more focused on his abilities as a comedian than on serving punters in the correct order! His mood was not improved when he then discovered that his new super-dooper RaceFace triple layered, fully taped seam, waterproof shell had a broken zip and, despite utilising all his mechanical skills and some of the pub's cutlery, could not be fixed.

Jon this time came to the rescue with a spare waterproof top belonging to his mum, and J and J then had to put up with Al winging about it for the rest of the ride.This put Al in a miserable mood, so for the rest of the night hated everyone and everything.

From the Osbourne View we then headed into the Shire and the sanctitiy of the Queens Head. Al again tried to keep up with Jon; John just did his own thing behind. All recovered over a couple of pints of Irvings Type 42, and a pint of 'Bonfire Beer', and the discussions then turned towards the traditional variety (i.e. not babies and nappies), with Jon discussing some of the merits of living a bachelor life. Fortunately the tale did not put A and J off their pints, or off their appetites.

A Toast to Absent Friends

The Queens Head

From the Queens head it is a quick 15 minute ride back to Helyer Mansion where the aroma from Mrs John’s home made curry was very welcoming. Once showered and sat down at the dining table, (on which the fine fare was served and consumed with great gusto and delight) dinner was all washed down with Spitfire and Adnams broadside.

Post-ride Nosh

The curry was followed by a fine apple pudding, (something which has been sorely missing from many a recent TCA gathering John noted). All then retired to the “comfy chairs” where of course very high brow and intellectual conversation was had as usual.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

(Posted by: John)

Many Happy Returns

Al should have had the camera ready to capture the looks of disbelief on Jon & John's faces as he pulled up the car ready for this week's ride. We had decided on an urban ride, following a route tested by John and Al early in the New Year, which Billy-Bob and Al figured had 'tandem' written all over it. The pair rolled up with the over-size bicycle strapped to the roof; clearly a sight to behold if the expressions of the other TCA delegates (and the neighbours) was anything to go by.

The traditional pre-ride tea and cake chatter was punctuated by comments from the two Jons poking fun at the tandem and generally questioning the sexuality of the two other riders. Al had heard it all before but Billy-Bob was perhaps beginning to wonder whether we would be struggling to keep up on the more cumbersome bike. Em was grinning from ear to ear as she looked on and rushed outside with her camera as the group pushed away - convinced that there would be some blunder on the tandem - waiting to capture an 'off'.

Synchronicity
(Stoker Al; Driver Billy-Bob)

The solo pair smiled smugly as they lead the ride through a series of winding alleys through the housing estates towards the main Gosport Road, gradually pulling away from Paul who was concentrating as he steered the tandem through the tight turns. Once on the road the tandem two were soon wiping the smiles off the other's faces though as they caught and over took them. This advantage was to no avail however as they did not know the route. A series of wrong turns was taken, with John frantically barking instructions to get the party back together again.

The approach to Gosport harbour consisted of a series of tandem limiting obstacles - alleys speed bumps and junctions - but the group managed to stay together as they emerged onto the promenade. We were convinced we would get stopped by a couple of bobbys on their beat as we rode past the 'No cycling' signs but they barely glanced our way as we slid past them, negotiated yet another sharp turn and setting our sights for Haslar and Stokes Bay. Crossing Haslar bridge there was nearly a tandem-meets-lamp-post incident as Billy-Bob was caught in two minds. A collision was narrowly averted however and we continued on our way.

Having reached the golf course at Stokes Bay the tandem crew split from the others - they were reluctant to take on the deep shingle, which even caused Jon one or two difficulties despite his knobbly tyres. We eventually caught up as the promenade ran out and joined the road once more. We all followed the cycle path from Stokes Bay to Lee on Solent where we endured a few hundred yards together, weaving in and out for the family parties, dog walkers, joggers and geriatrics. Where were they all in January? We all decided to join the road but went our separate ways again as we turned towards Hill Head. The road climbed steadily which afforded the tandem crew a good view of the other pair, behind us on the promenade. Minor adjustments were made to Billy-Bob's seat post (which had sunk under the strain of recent pastry-based product abuse) as he and Al waited for the stragglers outside TCA favorite, The Osbourne View.

At around this time Al realised to his horror that he had left all his money back at John's place. A swift calculation was made before we entered the pub but Jon was the only one with any significant resource - £16. Things were looking bleak if we were to have a second pint in the cradle of the TCA Shire. Jon got the pints of Badger's Hopping Hare as we frantically scrambled through pockets and bags for beer money. Jon, Billy-Bob and John had a cumulative total of about £11 - there was nothing left for it but to haggle at the next port of call. We mounted our bikes once more and enjoyed the leisurely ride down Triangle Lane towards the Shire, rehearsing our plea for sympathy.

Crossing the Border and
into the hallowed Shire

We eventually pulled into the Queen's Head and parked up our bikes. It was only right that Al, whose door this mess was firmly placed at, should approach the bar. He casually inquired as to the price of the various beers. The Bowman 'Swift One' was only £2.80 a pint but Irvings 'Pompey Glory' - at £3.10 - had caught his eye. Al decided to appeal to any Pompey persuasion the landlord might harbour whilst also explaining the lengths we had gone to to visit the pub, the episode of the missing cash, the fact that he used to be a local. Rather miraculously it worked... obviously the recent FA Cup win had brought out his charitable side, either that or he was desperate for Al to stop talking. Pompey Glory is apparently a special brew to celebrate the cup victory by new brewery Irving (recently set up in Farlington by ex-Gales staff). All agreed it was one of the best beers they had tasted in a while, perhaps because it was partly stolen!

We inevitably toasted absent friends but we also had some birthdays to celebrate owing to both Jon and Billy-Bob's recent aging. In addition it may interest you, dear reader, that the TCA2006 website recently turned two years old - with over 100 posts committed to the internet.

The Birthday Boys Celebrate with a
discount pint of Pompey Glory

We chatted to a trio of Liverpudlian painter/decorator types who in rather stereotypical fashion entertained us with their cheeky repartee. Thankfully they did not live up to another stereotype as the wheels were still on all the bikes when we came to remount. Up the hill towards Fareham the tandem crew were lagging behind as they struggled to negotiate the Titchfield gyratory. Al and Billy-Bob decide to regain the advantage by risking a cut-through as the soloists chose the main A27. Thus an unspoken challenge was laid down - it was obviously a race for home (despite Jon's protestations later that he had not been trying)! For the record the tandem crew arrived home a little ahead of the soloists.

We enjoyed a fine chilli prepared by Em, followed by an equally delicious summer fruit crumble with custard... better tighten that seat post up again for next time.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

(Posted by: Al)

New Year Pilgrimage

A cup of tea and a slice of Auntie Babs' Christmas fruit cake was a welcome treat for Al as he arrived in Fareham: With snow forecast we wrapped up warm before fettling the bikes in John's garage - it was heavily overcast with a bitter easterly wind which made it feel colder than the 2ºC registering on the thermometer. We had decided on a departure from our regular rural activities in favour of an urban Solent-side adventure.

We set off from John's down the main road towards Gosport, whizzing past the queues of stationary rush-hour traffic. As we neared the sea John led us through the rat-run of alleys, bridges, bike lanes and housing estates which eventually led to the Gosport ferry terminal. We stopped to admire the view across to Portsmouth with the spinnaker tower all lit up before carrying on past Haslar hospital towards Gulkicker point; a quick cut through the golf course and we joined the seafront promenade at Stokes Bay.

John and Al take a breather
on Gosport Seafront

Ignoring the 'NO CYCLING' signs painted on the tarmac, but carefully looking out for un-illuminated dog walkers, we made rapid progress beside the Solent with the wind directly behind us. With the wind on our backs the conditions did not seem so bleak and before too long we were in Lee-on-Solent with it's neon lights, chip shops and curry houses. We were distracted by the smell of food and discussed the future possibility of a TCA curry night using a similar route. However, having passed the hovercraft depot, the lights disappeared and it was onto the darkened sea-front promenade once more towards Hill Head and our first pint.

The Osborne View is a firm TCA favorite (although we were later surprised to note that it's patronisation has not been documented since the inception of the blog, Ed. ) - it's an excellent place to break a walk or ride, or to enjoy a hearty meal. On a clear day it also affords spectacular views across the Solent to the Isle of Wight from the windows on it's numerous floors, and it's large pub garden which has direct access to the beach. It is a Hall and Woodhouse pub and consequently has a fine selection of Badger Beers - we both plumped for their seasonal Pickled Partridge winter ale. Al noted that 'the Ozzy' had undergone a significant refurbishment since his last visit but was pleased with how tastefully this had been undertaken.

Having left the pub guiding duties were passed to Al, since John had reached the geographical boundaries of his experience. In his capacity as guide and more senior Associate Al felt that the tenacity, dedication and enthusiasm with which John has embraced the TCA ethos over the last months, justified reward with the Return to Titchfield Ceremony. As we crossed the boundary to the spiritual home of the TCA (a place so sacred some dare not utter it's name) the brief ceremony was conducted, a few solemn words were spoken and photographs of the occasion taken for posterity.

John enters the hallowed shire
under cover of darkness

As TCA lore dictates we headed straight for the Queen's Head, where the Association was borne. Although the pub seems to have changed hands since the Founding Fathers last frequented it's cozy bar little seemed out of place. Thankfully there were still a fine selection of beers available which this time split the contingent; John opted for a pint of Good King Censlas from the Hampshire Brewery, while Al preferred a Swift One from Droxford's Bowman Ales - which seemed an entirely appropriate brew with which to toast absent members. To John's almost total ambivalence Al then provided a monologue on the brief history of this local microbrewery run by the former brewers of the defunct Cheriton Brewhouse.

Climbing out of the village towards Fareham the con was once again passed to John as we followed a suburban route back towards his place on the eastern side of town to complete the 20-mile circuit. Once home and hosed we enjoyed a delicious, healthy and nutritious version of spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread and cups of tea while watching the Hairy Bikers knock up regional dishes from the northeast of England.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Elevation Profile*:*Note that the maximum altitude is only 100ft above sea level :
this exaggerates the appearance of the ascents/descents from around the 13 mile point
at Hill Head, Titchfield village and the climb to Ravilles Lane

(Posted by: Al)