Walk of Shame

After much route choice deliberation Jon insisted on taking the infamous route up to the East Dean and through Goodwood Estate. The last ride was in May with John and before that in November with Al; but were largely unsatisfactory so hopefully this would be third time lucky, dispite the punctured tyres and mud, which tupically befalls Jon . The omens were not good as Jon discovering that he had a flat tyre before he and Billy-Bob set off. Billy-Bob had yet to 'enjoy' this route and after scoffing his iced Belgian Buns (no French Fancies for us again! ) would have agreed to anything anyway.

Billy-Bob on the Trundle

Following the delayed start the pair cycled fast around the Goodwood racing circuit, through East Lavant through a back street not previously discovered and then Chalkpit Lane up to the Trundle. Billy-Bob found the pace hard and was heard to shout after Jon "I'll see you at the top". Nevertheless the pair met three quarters of the way to the summit, admiring the scenery and the wild flowers (lots of Pyramid Orchids), and to take some photos. The ride skirted around the side of the Trundle, past some obstinate sheep along the way. There was also a slight delay due to difficulties in working out how to chain up the gate: Billy-Bob would not fare well in a Krypton Factor Test.

As usual we cut through part of the grounds of Goodwood racing circuit and onto the road towards the end of race track. At this point, we took a deep breath and hauled our bikes over the gate marking the beginning of a footpath down towards East Dean. Known as 'puncture alley' we rode carefully down the path avoiding any fallen hawthorn branches or fence posts, and being ever watchful of horse muck (which had so afflicted John last time). Being a sensible chap, Billy-Bob insisted on Jon taking the lead as a little bit of limbo was required to get bikes and riders under a electric fences, the pair eventually got the road and recuperated in the Star and Garter, although bikes or riders suffered electric shocks.

After the usual odd stares from a well-heeled clientele at the Star and Garter, the welcoming landlord served up two pints of Arundel Castle from the barrel. The landlord recognised Jon from previous visitations so we must have made an impact before. After due warning about the hill up to Dubholts and East Dean, we made slow and painful progress up to the wood. Jon just failed to make the top by pedal power but sadly Billy-Bob took the walk of shame, having found the uphill deceptively difficult over uneven track gullies and trees roots.

Walk of shame

At the top Jon was determined not to get lost as they had last time and so he guided the pair slowly to the right hand turn to cross over Selhurst Park Road.

More Shame

Riding through the edge of Goodwood Estate we got a decent speed up despite the rutted nature of the track and the extensive mud pools intermitted located along the route. At the end we chatted to a local, gardening, who was obviously surprised to see two professional bikers making such a fine job of riding along this track. He suggested a drink at the Anglessey Arms which we turned down on account of the famishing pangs we were now encountering. We got home, inner-tubes intact and enjoyed a hot chilli trying to find suitable TCA viewing. We plumbed for Harley Street (modeled on Hotel Babylon) but were sadly disappointed. However we were rudely interrupted by one of Jons cats using a bike tyre as a scratching post. The resulting loud rush of noise, like a jet engine, jolted resting riders out of theire seats, and the cats out of the cat flap, and ensured that this route has again lived up to its reputation as harbinger of punctured tyres.

(Posted by: Jon)

Country Smells and Bike Washes

Eager to get stared after a cup of tea and some toasted teacakes, John and Jon ventured out along the track beside the Goodward Motor Circuit. The weather was cloudy and a bit cool but not bad considering that it was the beginning of summer with first Test match having taken place at Lords. It was easy going with little sign of the mud and deep ruts familiar to us in our winter rides and we quickly made progress to Chalkpit Lane to the Trundle. John was riding his full "sus" Scott that was now working properly and sparkling clean following a visit to the bike shed and repair undertaken free on warranty. After our exploits at the weekend, we seemed to make rather speedy progress up to Trundle although John was complaining of aching limbs following circuit training earlier in the week. (The lengths to which some members go to get fit for our rides is amazing - pity some others do't bother!).

At this point Jon realised he had forgotten his camera and it was too late to cycle back and get it. In any event the views [..and the riders, Ed.] were not particularly photogenic from the Trundle due to the haze and sticky atmosphere that had built up during the day. Off down the side of the Trundle we missed a couple of walkers and both of us almost got caught out by sharp zig zag at the bottom just before the road. Around the horse circuit at Goodward we quickly got to the infamous footpath leading down to East Dean. We have tied this path with the epithet "puncture alley" as every time Jon has tackled it he's had a puncture there. Johns track record on punctures has also not been good so after a bit of self-persuasion the pair hopped thier bikes over the gate and cycled down the middle of the path, careful to miss any potential source of thorns, nails or similar pointy objects. We navigated it safely although John had another problem with his bike, namely his seat and a country smell. This problem was not helped by a strange "Ellis" type smell emanatting from Johns' gloves - He had somehow managed to dunk them in horse faeces. Ignoring the smell as best as possible both bombed down the grassy hill towards the road at East Dean, Jon discretely keeping his distance from his partner.

At the Star and Garter, John promptly washed his hands and gloves and we enjoyed a pint each of Arundel Gold. We moved off after getting a bit chilly and made our way to hill that leads up to forestry track through the woodland that Al and Jon had found so muddy on their last winter visit. On this occasion too both riders failed to cycle all the way up and had to walk the steepest bit. Jon even managed to stall in mid motion and and flattened a good bit of field falling into the crops (sorry farmer!). The top the track was dry but challenging to ride over the ruts which required some nifty technical skills. Unfortunately we were enjoying this so much that we forgot to branch off down towards Halnaker and Goodward. Instead we headed towards Petworth. How we made this mistake, in the light, when we have never made this mistake in the dark, I do not know but worse navigation errors have rarely been made I'm sure [...don't bet on it, Ed.]. Having realised the error, Jon shouted "turn round" to John just as he was negotiating riding a high bank above a rut full of deep mud and water. After diverting his attention, Jon watched as John and his sparklingly clean bike slid down deep into the quagmire. Both bike and John then get even muddier trying to get out of this and turn himself and bike round.

John, surprisingly calm in this instance, was convinced where the pair were by Jon and both got back on the track. We both enjoyed a long downhill bumping over forestry track ruts and avoiding other mud patches through Halnaker Park to Halnaker itself and then rode the bikes back through the outskirts of Goodward House to Sainsburys petrol filling station where John spayed his bike (and himself) down to remove the worst of the mud. The evening was finished off by Spagetti bolognaise at Jon's place.

(Posted by: Jon)

A Tale of Two Tubes

With John sitting out this week's ride due to a nasty bout of man-flu (right on cue the week his new bike was delivered) Al and Jon's primary objective was a drier ride than the previous week. The weather at least was cooperating - after days of rain we had managed to pick a clear, cold, starlit night. The pair decided on a route up to Goodwood horse racing course, down to East Dean, around Goodwood estate and then home. The Jo(h)ns had blazed this trail before in the summer; it seemed appropriate to assess the feasibility of the route as a winter ride.

Early in the ride it became apparent that last week's activities had taken their toll on equipment: Although our kit had just about dried out Jon's front brakes were exibiting a nasty vibration and making an unhealthy "metal-on-metal" sound characteristic of worn out brake pads; Al's gears were playing up as the jocky wheels in the derailier were looking worn. However, we made good speed on our usual approach around the Goodwood motor circuit, past the Royal Oak and then up Chalkpit Lane to the Trundle (which afforded excellent views of Chichester at night). With conditions significantly less treacherous there were no 'offs' this week and we continued around the base of the Trundle for the first downhill towards the stands at Goodwood Racing Circuit. Given only one set of brakes Jon put the full light show on as he sped, out of control, on a white-knuckle downhill ride. As usual we cut across the grounds in front of the stands and down the road parallel to the final furlong markers. The route then required that we haul our bikes over some gates and stiles along a track leading to East Dean. Although the descent to East Dean is mainly track it is in fact a footpath not a bridle route; we emerged at the top of a grassy field in full view of the farmhouse. A stealthily cruise down the hill across the field in front of the farm was required, with lights dimmed. Jon nearly gave the game away getting stuck in his cleats and clattering to the ground inches from a live electric fence. Around the same time, and for the second time at this point on consecutive rides, Jon realised he had a puncture - perhaps it was the route getting it's own back for the indiscretion of using a footpath?

Nevertheless, a few quick pumps and the tyre was sufficiently inflated to get us to The Star and Garter. We tucked into pints of Arundel Brewery's Sussex Gold while Jon set about replacing his inner tube in front of the fire amid a paparazzi-like frenzy of photography from Al. The friendly staff seemed to react to Jon karting parts of his bicycle through their establishment as if was an every day occurrence! Some time later the tyre was replaced and beers were drunk. At this point, much to the amusement of Al, Jon realised with some irritation that he had committed a school boy error and inadvertently refitted his punctured inner tube rather than replace it with the new one still sat in pristine condition on the table in front of him. Finally with job done (twice) and another pint we went on our way up to Bubholts and East Dean Hill. It was not to be Jon's night - his new inner tube had somehow somehow queezed out of tyre requiring a colder maintenance stop beyond the comfort of the pub.

First Attempt

Second Attempt

Jon quickly put his wheel right and the pair struggled up the steep hill and then onto a bridleway which was essentially forestry tracks with loads, and loads of mud. The problem was compounded by the fact that there had been some deforestation activity and the track churned up by the logging vehicles. Although progress was slow this did not present a significant problem; we quickly overcame terrain difficulties and at times just let the back wheel slide through the mud. Until that was Al stalled and slid to a halt in front of Jon who promptly slid into him and his bike. In addition to throwing Jon into the mud the collision dislodged his batteries. Apologies and adjustments to lights ensued - Jon could barely disguise his frustration.

Finally we crossed Selhurstpark Road and a final wide expanse of mud (which proved to be the final straw for Jon as his bike got well and truly bogged down as he headed straight through the middle). Al skirted the mud before joining the the track proper around Goodwood estate which thankfully consisted of firmer stuff. Marginally drier than the previous week but much muddier we headed for a welcome hot shower. A 'Jon's Special' hot chilli was consumed watching more quality TV in the form of "I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here!". With Jon insisting that he would never tackle this ride again we remained undecided as to whether this was a truly acceptable winter route.

Route Map (click to enlarge):
Elevation Profile:

(Posted by: Jon)

Close Encounters at Glorious Goodwood

On a glorious sunny day, John and I set off soon after 18:00 on a modified version of our usual Goodwood ride; a new route beyond the horse racing circuit and up to East Dean. John wanted to test out his new forks so we selected a route which we knew would provide a particularly bumpy downhill section (despite the stretch in mind being a public footpath rather than bridleway).

As we approached Chalkpit Lane it dawned on us that the horse racing was on, accounting for the hordes of posh folk who were worse for wear outside the Royal Oak. Reaching the track I thought I would test out all these performance enhancers that I now routinely take each week and raced up the hill leaving John in my wake. Skirting around the Trundle we prepared ourselves for our first downhill of the evening and the first test of Johns rather shiny new forks.

John with shiny new forks

Unfortunately, since is was such great weather this evening, a few people had decided to walk up the hill in the opposite direction: I encountered one poor person frozen to the spot in the middle of this track which required a quick swerve on my part. At the bottom of the run we were greeted by the sight of cars and people everywhere. Cutting the corner off across the grass by the grandstands we both had to perform similar maneuvers; swerving around swaying obstacles with glasses of champagne attached. Passing the racecourse with it’s marquees, barbies, picnics, gambling and the downing of alcohol taking place it seemed that we were missing out somewhat. A TCA trip to the races may have to be on the cards one day we thought.

Observing the Racegoers

We usually turn off left towards Chalton at the end of the long straight road section next to the course, but this evening we turned right and with a little hesitation lifted our bikes over the stiles and gates through the woods. We soon ran into trouble when I heard what I thought was the noise of a jet engine behind me – in fact I eventually realised that it was a massive puncture in my back wheel. Having recently invested in inner tubes that are meant to repair punctures by emitting a green goo I feel I should seek some compensation – these products have obviously not been properly tested in TCA use. After a quick change of new inner tube, wiping of green goo off my hands as I went, we cycled out of the woods and into a cow field. Cows, like the humans previously encountered, were slow to get out of the way. By now we were ready for a drink but first we had to negotiate a grassy, bumpy and cow patted field. Thankfully John’s forks were in their element and arrived at the pub well and truly christened. East Dean was busy with the Goodwood folk too but we found a table outside the Star and Garter and sampled some ales - Jon , Ballards Castle Ale; John, Boddington keg beer.

My toast to absent friends

After a brief look at the maps we cycled down the road away from the pub in search of a bridleway. Pushing the vegetation aside we cycled southwards through the edge of a field and then on a steep incline up through Buchoirs and Eastdean Hill. Reluctantly we had to dismount and push our bikes up the hill but the climb was worth it for a marvelous downhill through Halnaker Gallop. The gallop started with rows of cut timber hemming us in, followed by muddy pools under the trees. By now it was twilight and there was a sinister feel to some of the houses we passed, not helped by a life sized witch doll outside one house. Creepy!

After reaching Halnaker House we turned westwards onto a road past Goodwood House, Goodwood Racing main entrance and the Rolls Royce factory, arriving back at the ranch at 21:00. We enjoyed a back-to-basics meal of pizza, baked beans and chips while channel-hopping for a film deserving of TCA merit... to no avail.

Route Map (click to enlarge):
Elevation Profile:

(Posted by: Jon/Route Maps by: John)