Return of The Orange Beast

Thursday ride was a bit hit and miss with Jon's bike just back from repairs and Al having to send his apologies. John H was apparently entertaining a Chinese girl... Billy Bob turned up with no bike but with clothes that had seen better days. His excuse was that he had chucked his wet clothes from his last ride, a long time ago, into a corner and had forgotten about them. His yellow mack was turning green with mould and the rest of his clothes were not much better either.

After a quick cup of tea and some puff pastry mince pies Billy-Bob mounted the Orange Beast, (Jon's ancient Halfords Apollo) while Jon rode his mended Scott. As normal, the Canal track was strewn with dodgy occurrences and people: We noticed a supicious hoodie youth clambering a wall to a house. Riding at steady pace, taking account of Billy-Bob's lack of fitness and more pertinently the heavy Orange Beast, we got to Chichester Marina where the front wheel of the Beast unfortunately fell off going over the sluice gate bridge. Jon almost did himself an injury trying to right the bike because of its weight but managed to fix the loose bolts with a huge wrench from his back pack.

At the Crown and Anchor we enjoyed a couple of pints of Tribute and then decided to cycle up to the Earl of March at East Lavant. This took us about half an hour where we tucked into crisps and pints of Harveys Best Bitter. A short trip back resulted in serving of Spaghetti Bolognese and Sticky Toffee pudding.

Sadly no photos as Jon forgot to charge his camera.

(Posted by: Jon)

Jon's New Lights

With John H on his travels in Toulouse and Billy-Bob working, it was left to Jon P and a firing-on-three-cylinders Al to keep the dream alive. After customary discussion of the woes of work, over cake and tea the boys got out for 6.30pm, cycling earnestly through the back streets of Chichester to start along the canal route. It was one of those curious evenings where the choice of apparel was not necessarily obvious - it was very mild for the time of year but there was still a nip in the air. Both riders deemed is 'shorts weather' but took the precaution of a thermal base layer and a waterproof top. Winter gloves were left at home.

Jon was particularly keen to get off the beaten track to try out his new light system, a Lumicycle Halide system "...the absolute pinnacle of lighting technology" as the blurb says! Dodging the usual walkers and vagrants, Jon quickly had to resort to bimble pace to allow Al to catch up with his failing respiratory system. Of note the boys encountered a young Hedgehog on the canal path which Al just manged to avoid. Lucky for the Hedgehog, Al stopped to warn Jon who had lagged behind at this point. After a brief picture stop and a kicking of Hedgehog out of harms way, we headed south towards Chichester Marina.


Once over the harbour gates Jonperformed a full calibration of his new kit - lighting up Salterns Copse and exposing most of the wood and surrounding area. Al agreed that the system really was better than anythign he had seen before. The lights look stylish, yet understated and, after a characteristic flicker and few seconds warming up as the beam gained intensity, the power is astonishing.. and just one lamp.. and a four hour burn time!

The view from behind the
Lumicycle Halide

Once at Dell Quay and the Crown & Anchor Al enjoyed a pint of Youngs Special and Jon a pint of St. Austell's Tribute, whereupon plans to solve the nations problems were evoked. Amongst many ideas floated was recruiting prison inmates to run the Royal Mail and waste collection. We briefly considered the "John H light-weight shortcut" route straight back home at this point because we had thought we had taken over two hours so far; according to Jons watch it was about 9 pm. However, we were not put off and decided to cycle up towards East Lavant along the old railway track. Soon Jon had to admit a school-boy error in his time keeping: He had not corrected his cycling watch after the hour change on Sunday so in fact we had loads of time!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
No - it's Jon with his new lights!

Two thirds of the way along the track Al always anxious to do something different and decided to try out a footpath branching off this cycle track up an embankment and found a short cut down towards the Earl Of March at East Lavant. The embankment has some potential for a embankment challenge in the future. At the pub, drinking two pints of Harveys, trhe boys indulged in some people watching as the posh folk of Sussex in their fancy attire rolled up for dinner.

After cycling back via the Lavant Ford route, we got back to a traditional slowcooker special: Chicken Casserole was served up and for pudding a Belgian Truffle Chocolate Torte with each serving worth 40% of your daily recommended intake in saturated fat. Jon had chosen the dessert especially for Billy Bob knowing his taste for healthy food but he shouldn't be dissappointed as the remainder will be frozen for future consumption.

(Posted by: Jon)

Johnny Saves the Day

Billy-Bob was still out with respiratory problems and John couldn't make it either. Al and Jon therefore resolved to make an early start and get another good, long ride in from Chichester. Traffic and work conspired to stall Al though and, having got the tea and cakes out of the way, the pair eventually left at 6.30 with the sun low on the horizon.

Al sets off up The Trundle

Jon had constructed yet another new route by piecing together bits of numerous previous outings. The first half of the ride followed the well-worn route up and over the Trundle into West Dean and then up towards the South Downs Way through West Dean Woods. All this was pretty uneventful as Jon and Al pressed on trying to get to the ridge without using lights. The plan was scuppered though by a catastrophic failure in Al's chain as he crunched through the gears. Al looked at his stricken bike helplessly - he knew he had left his chain tool and spare links in the 'bike box' at home in his rush to get out. Jon came to the rescue, pulling out a solitary spare link. With a typically slick team effort the TCA pair had the job done in less than 5 minutes. Had Jon not packed the requisite gear the pair were in a world of trouble on the most remote part of the route!

Nightfall on the South Downs Way

Along the ridge then, through the Devil's Jumps and down 'Boneshaker Alley' towards Hooksway. Reaching the bottom of the long, steep descent the pair could not believe their eyes; appearing out of the night like Brigadoon were the lights of the Royal Oak. Opening hours seem to have a mind of their own and it had been months since the TCA had happened on the establishment while it had been open. Jon and Al were treated to a veritable selection of Cornish beers but both plumped for the Cornish Knocker.

Once in a Blue Moon

Having finished the beer, and with a definite chill in the air, the pair headed through Phillis Wood towards Chilgrove. The conditions were nigh so perfect this evening - a clear, cool, dry night - that they briefly considered the ascent of Kingly Vale. With time pressing on, and Al's dodgy chain to consider, Jon and Al felt that they had not upset the cycling gods while they were on-side. They headed instead back to West Dean and by cycle path and dismantled railway to Lavant. The second Royal Oak of the evening (and a "5 out of 10" pint of Bombadier, according to Jon). After their second pint it was home by the usual route.

Jon had been experimenting again with the slow cooker and, with a glut of home grown chillies to use up, he had knocked up chilli & ginger chicken with noodles. They watched "iRobot" on the telly over another couple of bottles of beer but it was all too much for Al who fell asleep on the sofa before either the film or the pint were out.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

(Posted by: Al)

Piston Problems

After a customary cups of tea and cake Jon and John left Chichester at 18:45, heading past the hospital and then up through summersdale through past East Lavant to the flinty Chalkpit Lane. Jon took the lead with John behind this week's excuses had something to do with running the day before and still recovering from Al's stag weekend in the Peak District. Jon found himself at the top at Trundle having overtaken some hardy runners, with John slowly but steadily riding up the Lane. At the top some lovers in the car park were looking annoyed at sight of us. Quickly leaving the lovers carpark therefore we traversed the trundle for our first downhill. Jon led on and was pleasently happy with himself using no brakes until the bend at the bottom; John continued to be surprisingly slow behind.

Road biking around the race course at Goodwood we then rode downhill through Chalton Park Forest; this time John overtook Jon on the downhill but not before he had been forced into a bumpy gully on the way down. At the Fox goes Free a well deserved pint of Guiness was enjoyed by John and and Betty Stoggs by Jon. After a lengthy chat of the highlights of the weekend past the pair sped off up Town Lane observing lots of Red-legged Partridges and unusual number of of cars. Cutting across the field by Trundle we biked it down chalkpit Lane to the road. Jon's elation at beating John to the bottom quickly evaporated when John indicated that he had a brake problem: His piston on his front disc breaks was not retracting, forcing the brakes to remain on during the descent. Oh well at least he did not have a puncture!

John Struggles up the Trundle

Despite this we got back before 21:00 for a Parson's chilli using up real chillies from Jon's plant. We watched a programme called Tough Guy or Chicken involving supposedly tough guys learning Chagras skills in rounding up cattle on the uplands of Ecuador. Pretty lightweight fare compared to an evening with the TCA.

(Posted by: Jon)

Glorious Goodwood

With John in foreign climes and Billy-Bob suffering from a cold and a shortage of brownie points it was left to Jon and Al to bear the TCA standard. It had been a sunny day punctuated by heavy showers but the clouds had cleared by the time Al got over to Chichester for the traditional pre-ride tea and cakes.

Two's Company

Leaving at 18:30 the pair headed for the trundle and followed the route of the recent Chichester Challenge up towards the South Downs. Notably Al was 'King of the Trundle' for the first time in many a month; hearing the familar sound of Jon crunching his gears with a few hundred yards to go Al made a victorious break for the line! The good weather, early start and the fact that Al had committed to stay at Jon's for the evening meant that they did not have to watch the clock this week so we reviewed the map once we had got firmly into the countryside.

Jon Checks the Route

Typically our circular routes would bear west along the South Downs way before returning to Chichester but we fancied a change; heading east towards Cocking we made for firm TCA favorite, the Fox Goes Free at Charlton.

On the ascent from Cocking we met with another cyclist, laden with an enormous rucksack, filling his water bottle at one of the municiple taps strewn along the South Downs Way. Our new companion explained that he had travelled from Sheffield that morning and was tackling the route from Winchester to Eastbourne with tow friends. Having done most of his biking in the peak district the cyclist explained that he had underestimated the difficulty of the constantly undulating terrain, and that they were running at least a couple of hours late.

Lush Greenery of an
English Summer Ride

As the one cyclist caught up with his companions the TCA turned south for the long descent to Cocking which felt well deserved after spending most of the evening peddling up hill so far. It was not long before the pair were enjoying pints for Harvey's Sussex Bitter. Cocking was awash with Range Rovers and sozzled race goers - this week marked the opening day of Glorious Goodwood at the race course high on the hill above us.

Toast to Absent Friends,
The Fox Goes Free

Leaving the pub we hit the tortuous climb by road up the northern approach to the Trundle. We were afforded views across the the race course and the usually quiet back road with taxis ferrying racegoers back to Chichester from the various country pubs around the estate. As we approached the descent on the homeward leg of our journey is was time to light up for the first time in weeks.

The Royal Oak was packed full of race-goers in all their finery enjoying a meal after their day-out. Jon and Al looked only a little out of place splattered with mud in their cycling gear - more like jockeys we suppose! In any event the pair found a table outside and enjoyed two pints of Horsham Best from W.J. Kings.

Homeward Bound
in the moonlight

It was properly dark by the time the beers were sunk and it was lights all the way home. Slow-cooked lasagna was dish of the day back at Jon's, accompanied by a bottle of Arundel Sussex Gold. We struggled to find anything of a suitable genre for TCA viewing on the TV but eventually plumped for The Beach on Film Four. On an evening evocative of those 'good old days' the lads had clocked up 19 miles on an outstanding new route, had one more beer than strictly necessary and turned in just a little too late for a school night at 23.30.

Route Map (1): Southern Section
(click to enlarge)
Route Map (2): Northern Section
(click to enlarge)

Elevation Profile
(click to enlarge):

(Posted by: Al)

Memory Card Mishap

After a quick clean of Jon's orange Apollo bike, Billy Bob and Jon embarked on a ride down to the Chichester canals to Appledram. The orange Apollo bike had to be brought into use because of technical problems with Billy-Bob's own bike. We had had a quick cup of tea and chocolate cake beforehand, discussing the notable absence of some members on weekly rides (and Jon's experience with a friendly belly dancing solicitor at work). Keeping the dream alive for the TCA was falling on our broad shoulders.

The usual quick cycle through Chichester was mounted to beat the level crossing which we duly accomplished. Once on the cycle path, we quickly encountered courting couples and dog walkers, some very grumpy, and that was the owners. We lost count how many we met but Al would not have enjoyed this part of the ride. The evening was glorious though with the sun out and when we got to the Marina at Dell Quay the setting sun over Fishbourne channel was super.

We arrived at the pub, the Anchor, in good time, sat outside and enjoyed two pints of Waggledance. You cannot beat the British summer when it is like this. At 8pm we decided that we had to go upto East Lavant along disused railway line along the eastern side of Chichester. We had on a previous ride with Wrong John gone straight back home at this point! However aware of some murmurings that our rides had gone soft and that our bikes are not showing signs of dirt and mud we pushed on hard.

In fact we took just half an hour to get to at the Earl of March at East Lavant. A distance of just over 8.5 km not bad when billy bob was cycling the tank, the orange Apollo. At the earl of March we enjoyed a pint each of Harvey's Best Bitter looking over the Downs and the Trundle.

Again we cycled back fast from East Lavant home in just under twenty minutes arriving at 21:20 for another slow cooker Parson's special, Coq au Vin. It was around this time that Jon realised he had neglected to put the memory card into his camera; all the carefully staged snaps had been in vain.

(Posted by: Jon)

Bike vs Dog

With Jons bike still being repaired, following equipment failure at Boys Weekend, the day glow orange Apollo of former days was been brought back into service. What ever it lacks in style and grace, Jon qickly found a new use for it in dealing with dogs.

The Joh(ns) had decided that we would go for an easy ride this night because it followed a late day for Jon at work following one of his interesting planning committees and the fact John was going up north to see some friends the following day. This always puts Jon in a funny mood and we had had a conversation about northerners and the fact allegedly they had funny skin due to lack of sun which had caused a lack of vitamin D. John was not convinced. However we got off before 7 and managed to speed through the railway crossing just in time to avoid delay and get onto the Chichester Canal path.

Jon soon felt like he was at spinning classes - the rapid motion of pedalling due to the lack of gears in the Apollo. He soon found his brakes were not up to much either frightening a few fisherman and jay walkers and this is where he found a good use for the his bike in bashing a dog. One fisherman's dog came running aggressively up to him expecting bike and him to stop but no the bike hit the dog front on. There was a thud and yelp and half hearted attempt by dog to bit one of Jon's feet off but no it was 1-0 to bike. Needless to say the dog owner was not very flattering about Jon's bike skills. This of course though allowed John to come through unmolested by dog.

With remarkably good progress we got through to Chichester Marina at Dell Quay and then to the [Black Horse? Ed.] pub at Apuldrum. The evening was particularly fine with great views of Chichester Cathedral and Fisbourne Channel.

The Boys debated which was the larger,
Chichester Cathedral's fine buttress...

...or John's rear end.

At the pub, we sat outside admiring the sunset with John complaining about how much drink costs abroad, in particular Guinness, while Jon just admired the view. Johns fitness and training was thoroughly evaluated during conversations.

The Happy Couple,
beers in hand as the sun sets.

We set tracks home and found ourselves back at Jon's for a chilli but no pudding watching Waterloo Road at 8.30 pm which must set a record for a TCA shortest ride.

Chichester Marina and Surrounds

(Posted by: Jon)

Canal Basin Convalescence II

Keen to burn off the excesses of Christmas and New Year, but with John now striken with a dose of man flu, coupled with sub-zero temperatures, we revisited the gentle jaunt that has become known as the 'Chichester Canal Ride'. It was John's turn to make the excuses but unlike the previous outing he could at least demonstrate the gravity of his condition by proving he was on a course of antibiotics.

Both Jo(h)ns assembled at the Chichester HQ early and made light work of scoffing their pieces of millionaire's shortbread... they were in the process of dividing the third when Al caught them red handed, delayed on account of car trouble and baby duties. The customary cake ritual complete Al and the Joh(ns) ventured into the Siberian weather.

Once on the canal the boys had a clear run encountering just the one dodgy looking character with a can of Special Brew in one hand - Jon recognised him as one of the regulars in his local pub. Jon led the way setting the pace trying to not let the ill man John lag too much behind. There were a few compliants that Jon was slowing down too much trying to get a few more birds for his year list. Sightings tonight included two swans fighting but truth be told it was difficult to spot many birds given frozen nature of the water and the misty mirk.

It was sufficiently cold that the brackish water at the sluice lock gates next to the sea in Chichester Marina had frozen over! After safely negotiating the narrow footpath platform above the gates, overlooking the frozen depths we cyled though the woods and field to the Crab and Lobster (...actually it was the Crown & Anchor, Ed.) at Dell Quay. Much to Al and Jon's delight they still has Young's Winter Warmer on draft. This was sufficient a temptation to persuade Jon that his achohol abstinance since New Years Day should come to an end. John and Al turned the discussion to logistics regarding the Boys Weekend - amongst the conclusions eventually reached was that Jon and Billy-Bob's responsibilities may well be limited simply to tea making.

We rode back straight to Chi along East and West Street on account of Johns worsening condition, foregoing a further pub stop. The evening was finished off itnslightly bizarre style with with a slow cooked cheesy lasagne, a recipe gleened from Jon's new cook book - a christmas present from John.

A Toast to absent Friends
The Crown & Anchor

(Posted by: Jon)

Canal Basin Convalescence

Still not fully recovered from last week's ride-halting illnesses Jon and Al decided to struggle on but attempt an easier ride than usual - cycling the familiar route south of Chichester along the canal tow paths, through the marina, under the A27 and upto East Lavant by disused railway.

While Jon and Al had clearly defined priorities - getting out in the time honoured way dispite extenuating circumstances - John had apparently disregarded the ancient TCA ethos: He was going out with 'other friends' on a christmas social. Billy-Bob on the other hand reported that his family were still making a recovery from flu and various other ailments including headaches, vomiting, etc.

Starting at 7 we "roaded" it to the Canal basin after being held up at a level crossing for what seemed an age. Once on the Canal path we seemed to be on our own apart from a courting couple and a dog walker surprised from our full sets of cycle lights. Al had the ultimate suprise though as the dag gave chase once the owner felt we were at a safe range. There was an errie feeling to the night with mist coming off the canal and various birds - coots, mallards and mute swans - calling. Jon rode to the front having recovered from his cold better than Al. Once at the Marina, the riders both successfully negotiated the sluice gate across the estuary entrance to marina without stopping and then rode through Saltern Copse up to Dell Quay Road.

At the Crab and Lobster at Dell Quay, we both quenched out thirst by drinking a pint of Youngs Winter Brew which reminded Jon of his golden years in drinking at various establishments in Old Portsmouth pre-TCA. After a serious discussion about whether to have another one, we decided, needs must and all that, to ride on to East Lavant.

A Toast to Absent Friends,
The Crown & Anchor

Cycling along a disused railway track, we both got up a bit of a momentum up, just missing a few dog walkers and then up to the Earl Of March. The pub was packed with christmas revellers, alien compared to tho the usual quieter atmosphere we were accusomed to... no doubt this was the just the type of atmosphere that John had traded for a night with the TCA. Nevertheless another enjoyeable pint of Harveys this time along crisps were consumed.

Homeward bound we cycled though a recreational park near the Festival car park and then the carpark itself, startlng a group of school children (not an unusual occurrence for Jon, Ed.) on a trip to the theater. Back at Jons, were more beer was enjoyed, a cracking chilli and huge servings of chocolate profiteroles with lashings of cream was consumed whilewatching Desperate Housewifes.

(Posted by: Jon)

The Wrong Trousers

After the mix-up of the previous week Jon was keen to make amends; he raced back from Brighton to ensure attendance on the ride from his house and hopefully restored diplomatic ties with the TCA. Jon wasy soon to be joined by John and they made ready enjoying a cup of tea and some special guest swiss chocolate biscuits. (Actually they were brought a few years ago for people at work but never got there). They were still very palatable though and there were only a few crumbs left when Al arrived uncharacterisitically late.

As the traditional cups of tea were consumed there was some debate as to the appropriate apparel for the ride. Is was a cold evening and the threat of rain was looming. Jon was keen to try his new waterproof over-trousers out but was soon on the wrong end of an ear-bashing from John. Al had packed his over-trousers too and there was much offing-and-oning of strides as he listened to the other two's argument; eventually he felt that John might fr once be right and opted to leave the trousers behind.

Al soon made up for his late arrival eading from the front through Chichester up to East Lavant and past the ford. Starting up the Trundle up using Chalkpit Lane Al conceeded, making his customary comment to Jon that he would once again see him at the top. That gym spinning class seemed to have done something for Jon's fitness as he once again struck out for the summit. Al was not far behind but Johns abuse of business lunches of late, coupled with his lack of activity had obviously saddled him. After a breather for John, we carried on around the Trundle and down our first descent to the Goodward Horse track. We encountered a few droopy branches and a skiddy slippery surface under the bikes: Jon skidded off despite his brand new rear Maxxis Highroller tyre specifically designed for these conditions.

After a brief and fairly fast road section, we got to bridleway at the top of Chalton Woods where we had to again wait for John. By now it was getting cold and wet and Jon was truly appreaciating his new Endura waterproof trousers. Conversely Al was not; complaining as he was that he should never have listened to 'Wrong John'. Again enjoying a rutted, slippery downhill section, Al and John got to the bottom fairly quickly with Jon a bit behind and complaining about his lights as usual. We arrived at the Fox Goes Free where we found that the only ale available was their own eponymous brand. However it went down well and we braved the wintry, rainy conditions to cycle up knights Hill in a stiff head-wind with Jon leading and Al conserving his energy by slipstreaming. Once again at the top of Chalkpit Lane and the Trundle we had a brief debate about a longer route but decided to descend the lane

By now Al (and John had he cared to admit it) was uncomfortably cold from the waist down as his trousers were saturated in freezing mud and water. We dropped the idea of a pint at The Royal Oak in favour of heading home for an early bath, where Al was once again reunited with his warm, dry waterproof trousers. Back at base we enjoyed a lamb stew with winter vegand sweet potato watching Portsmouth play AC Milan felling a little bit robbed at the end after a two goal lead was given away.

(Posted by: Jon)

Footnote: As they cycled in tandem fashion up Knight's Hill Jon and Al argued about when they had both last ridden up and down the trundle on the same ride. Al's assertion was that it had been about two years since they had visited the Fox', going up the Trundle on the way there, and down the Trundle on the way home. Jon felt is was much more recent: For the record it had been 18 months (June 2007) and Al trusts that this is a long enough period for Jon to let him off the 2 pints he is now technically owed.

No Show

At 5.30pm Al arrived at Jon's, having made a special effort to get there early, leaving to beat the traffic. After a lengthy period of illness Al was mad keen to get out on his bike again. Sadly only Jon could make it but he seemed keen to host the week's ride from his place.

By 6.00pm Al began to get aggitated; like a horse champing at the bit: He knew that this was too early to expect Jon home from work and the darkened house confirmed his theory. Al upacked his bike, made a few adjustments and waited in his car. He had already programmed all the numbers in his old phone into the new phone and listened to four episodes of The Archers on his iPod.

As 6.30pm passed Al began to worry - had Jon been caught in an accident? He turned the local radio station on but there were no report of traffic problems on the A27. Al rang Jon on his mobile, then on his work number, and finally on his home phone number with his ear to the door listening for signs of life. A disgrunted cat stared back at him form the cold, dark living room window sill.

At 7.00pm Al gave up and went to Sainsbury's where it would at least be warm. He bought a few bits and bobs and went back to Jon's, sipping a bottle of isotonic sports drink (he had not yet lost ALL hope of a ride).

At 7.30pm Al, anxious and worried, gave up and turned for home, poking a handwritten message through Jon's door before he left.

At 7.40pm Al's phone went: Jon had "inadventedly", "by mistake", gone to a bike spinning class at the gym "forgetting" that it was TCA night. After such a blatant breach of regulations Jon feared that his TCA membership is at risk of being revoked on several accounts.

At 8.00pm Al settled down with a fish-finger sandwich and a beer in front of the footie with Tee. At least the food would be palatable on one of 'Jon's nights'...

(Posted by: Al)

Wrong John is Right!

After rushing home, Jon found both John and Al waiting in front of his house raring to go with expressions of where have you been and sternly looking at their watches. A quick cup of tea with cake was hastily consumed and bikes made ready quickly especially Jons. A discussion ensued to result in a slightly amended route heading in the direction of East Ashling but first road bilking through northern Chichester,  Summersdale and  then onto East Lavant. John being in critrical mood decided that he did not fancy the rutted road track around the Goodward Motor Racing Circuit. 

 

Feeling our way through traffic past the St Richards Hospital and then the University, we gladly got onto off road tracks around East Lavant and then onto Chalkpit Lane the slow sludge of a track upto the Trundle. By this time, the fitness of the Jo(h)ns gained from their Afan trip, the weekend before, was beginiing to show with poor Al propping up the rear and feeling a bit lost out, missing the Billy Bob. At the top we cycled fast with Jon in the lead across a bumpy field edge and then down a steep grassy downhill with Al now in the ascendency. At the bottom, we cycled across the Lavant Valley floor with some team work with front riders opening and closing gates ensuring no stoppage for us. Down Bidderton Lane, we briefly went wrong but soon got back on track, down the previously named rat alley. It should be renamed Partridge (Red-Legged no Greys I am afraid) alley on account of these birds sheltering in the the deep ruts of the track. Several were almost run over which would no doubt have been added to dinner pot. 

 

Up along the bottom of Kingley Vale, the Jo(h)ns were way ahead of Al save for a brief period when John had a girly off caused by a rut and Al was begining to complain about feeling a bit socially excluded. The Jo(h)ns agreed to slow down but with a pub now beckoning, more urgent matters soon needed to be addressed. At the kingley Vale carpark entrance at West Stoke, there were two options turn left or right. Unfortunately Jon had forgotten his map to work out which way. These life and death situations are where you really need a map. John rather hastilly decided that it was left which left Al and Jon no choice but to say right because John is always wrong. However it soon became apparent that right was wrong after asking a couple of bikers coming the other way. So we got to the pub, the Horse and Groom, enjoying a couple of splendid pints but had to keep reminding John that he was right in deciding left but wrong in expressing a view forcing Al and Jon to say left and therefore wrong overall. 

 

After a quick road cyle back, Jons hospitality was extended to a hot chilli and noddles watching a repeat of the Real Hustle.  

(Posted by: Jon)

Spivs from Croydon

After Tea and Tiffin, the jo(h)ns got going on a sunny evening up round our usual route around Goodwood racing circuit towards East Lavant. Here John was suitably impressed that I had recently discovered a quiet shortcut through the village straight to the bottom of the Trundle, Chalkpit Lane. This avoids a slightly uncomfortable T junction in the village where we usually have to stop for traffic. This discovery had taken 4 years but better late than never I suppose.

With the setting sun, the struggle up towards the Trundle was bearable so much so that we stopped for a "Stanley Kubrik" quality photo - well maybe. At the top we admired the view across Chichester and its environs in the twilight. After negotiating the usual dilapidated gate to the east of the Trundle Mound, we embarked on the first downhill with John leading first and the usual slamming of brakes at the bottom to avoid the big oak tree. Around the Goodward horse circuit, we cycled down Chalton Road down through Charlton Park at speed and then to the Flying Fox at Chalton. Taking advantage of the light outside we sat drank outside on the timber benchs drinking to absent friends.

Riding up Knights Hill we encountered two shifty looking croydonite city types in a sporty BMW who wanted detailed directions to Fontwell racecourse and yet had a sat nav. Jon had to explain that they were no where near this racecourse, we were near Goodward racecourse and we not near Barnham where they also wanted to go. At this point John had sensibly decided to ride ahead. After the giving out of some detailed instructions, turn left and head for the sea, they then offered to give Jon and bike a lift a tow. Sensibly it was declined. With a burst of speed and wheel spinning they left Jon in their wake. Now it is one thing to get lost using basic maps as the TCA do but with a sat nav. These people are the so-called "masters of the universe".

After a brief chat with John on what he had missed, both Jo(h)ns rode home down the Chalkpit Lane and through Summersdale past the swollen Lavant and home for a hot chilli.

(Posted by: Jon)

The Chichester Challenge 2008

After a night spent at Meadow Barn Farm Ed, Ad, Jules and Charlie-man turned up at Oaklands Park dead on 9pm ready for the day ahead. Making their way over with Billy-Bob and Stef they met the rest of the group – Jerry, Jon, John and Gill - who were queuing to confirm registration. Al had spent the night shivering under the duvet, suffering as he was from a mystery illness which confined him to bed. He issued a sicknote at the last minute and was gutted to withdraw from what would have been his fifth Chichester Challenge.

The next problem of the day was the two queues - one to register and one to confirm registration. We obviously queued at the latter. The organisers had however failed to calculate the number of riders who would just turn up and register on the day due to the great weather. As a result, the start was delayed to just after 10am, a depature from the published start of 9.30 am. However this enabled the usual showing of bikes and gear (or lack of it in the case of Billy-Bob) to each other. In the case of John and Jerry they both found that they had the same tastes in kit in that they both had chosen matching white Commencal bikes - they looked like two embarrassed ladies with matching dresses at a wedding!

Left to right: Charlie, Jon, Stef (!), Billy-Bob,
Ad, Ju, Ed, John, Jerry

So after a late start due to a record number of participants the crew soon spread out along Broyle Road – Ed taking the lead, followed by Ad, Jerry and Charlie-man, the two Jo(h)ns then Jules, Gill and Billy-Bob bringing up the rear. The first hill proved to be a bad boy, a killer with Charlie-man being forced to stop part way up for a ‘moment’ before wisely deciding to complete the 30km route instead. Gill had ‘cold shivers’ in the 29 degree heat after two nights out on the trot but ploughed on regardless. Jon rode up in one go losing John, who was later found to pushing his bike up in a "walk of Shame" pose (above). However down the other side of this all riders negotiated a steep rutted flinty track down towards the second hill known as ‘Charcoal Burner’ on account of large wood burning stoves and at this point the leaders headed up in top form, AD and Jerry catching the man in the yellow jersey – Ed – to power on toward the first check point. It was at this point John was struggling with the heat but despite this kept up with Jon, with Julie and Gill leap-frogging them every so often.

The Female contingent: Ju & Gill

Jon rode up to the first check point first amongst this group seeing Ad and Jerry just leave here. It was from here along the South Downs Way stretch from Cocking to Harting that Jerry and Ed left Ad for dust at several points as they sped along with scant regard for personal safety! Meanwhile at this first check point Jon waited for John and whilst waiting saw Julie and Gill arrive chattering away as normal. John arrived and the two Jo(h)n set off after Julie and Gill with the leaders, amongst them, Ade, Jerry and Ed, well ahead by now. At this point I think we had forgotten about Billy-Bob - what friends are we!

Julie reaches Checkpoint 1

Following on behind Julie and Gill and the leaders along the South Downs Way stretch from Cocking to Harting, along Cocking Down, and the Devils Jumps, the Jo(h)ns made good progress especially down "Boneshaker Alley" towards Hooksway, mind you the pub was closed as usual ! It was particularly pleasing to see many cyclists hauled up at the sides of this "alley" with punctures and equipment failures of some sort or another - surely not something that would befall TCA riders! Jules and Gill had thoroughly enjoyed the number of fast down hill sections on it, one of which Jules almost had an ‘off’ when confronted with a particularly deep water gauge but just managed to recover in time... she was probably chattering to Gill thought Jon. The two girls made it to the top of South Harting Down in time to meet Keith (trusty father-in-law with the video camera) to be clocked a mere 15 mins behind the lead riders Ad and Jerry.

John - pre-puncture - tearing up the trail

Further uphill ascents ensured up Beacon Hill saw Jon overtake Julie and Gill but he waited with the two girls for his fellow rider John at check point 2. Jules, Gill, and the two Johns met up again and decided to track down the missing members of the crew: It was quickly established that Charlie-man was on his way round the shorter course and would meet us at the end. It was also discovered that Billy-Bob had completed a superman manoeuvre (most commonly seen in MBUK mags) and had flown over the handle bars down Bone Shaker alley, twisted his handle bars and injured both knees. With superhuman effort he was part way up South Harting Down when contacted - battered and bruised but otherwise fine. John discovered he had problems with his spindle and after a fight over who got to wait for Paul it was decided that as John had to fix his bike then he and Jonny P would gallantly cycle with their wounded comrade.

Billy-Bob demonstrates some
international sign language

Thus we were split it three groups – the Namibian dust-badgers (Ad & Ed) and Jerry (legs of steel) Anstey in the lead, Gill and Jules in the middle followed by the core TCA members. Spurred on by the sight of his father and sporting a huge home-advantage, Ad used the slip stream of some crazy Tandem riders to push on up the hill on the new section of steep Forestry Commission tracks. Jules and Gill, after almost getting lost at this point, proved their prowess (must be the practise in Afan) by beating 4 guys up the hill! The best moment being when the phrase ‘that’s not fair – being beaten by girls!’ was heard as they sped on past on a steep up hill track. With head down and bum up Ad continued through to Checkpoint 3 (Stoughton) where he hopped off the bike to plough through some cereal/fruit bars and Lucozade drink! He then got beaten on a short but steep uphill section out of Walderton having to take to two feet, through the gate (Gill and Jules also getting caught out here some time later). Through the long, fast, sweeping downhill section that followed, Ad picked up a rear blow-out (scaring the 4 picnic’ers in the adjacent field) and fully expected his team buddies to fly past!

Meanwhile, somewhere behind, Jules, who had ridden the course the year before, was offering Gill false hope by mistakenly referring to the third-to-last hill as the final one. After much effort, hot, uphill climbing and overtaking they reached the top of the final hill they took a breather to take in the sights. They were not to be disappointed as the Isle of Wight was clearly visible along the coastline and even the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth could be made out, surreal in the distant haze.

Three Dustbadgers: Charlie, Ad, Ed
enjoy a cuddle at the finish

The riders all pushed through to the balloon clad finish line to nurse sore muscles and replenish lost liquids and nutrients (with coke & burgers) and were greeted by their support crew - Al, T and baby Jimmy! They had had their own fun and games: Ill, but not wishing to miss out, Al had filled his cool box with ice-cold drinks, chocolate bars and energy gel and had driven to the Buriton check-point for 11.30am. In all previous years this had been the furthest check point before the turn for home, when energy levels were at a low ebb. This year however a last-minute route change left the car-park desserted except for a few dog-walkers. Not a fluorescent jacket in sight! Therefore, after driving round the fringes of West Sussex for almost an hour without seeing hide nor hair of a mountain biker, the three decided to cut their losses and head for the finish. Jimmy seemed to enjoy it most - the musicians, balloons and other infants provided ample entertainment until the TCA riders arrived to give a little of their attention.

The support crew were amazed when Charlie crossed the line first. No offence to the guy but he had the likes of Jerry and Ad to contend with, whose cyling prowess is legendary on this event! Charlie explained that he had overdone the start and, exacerbated by the heat, had decided to follow the 30km route rather than hack round the longer 55km route feeling grim. Ad was some 60mins later, looking as if he had been out for a Sunday afternoon stroll (only the moaning and rolling around on the floor gave away the real story), Jerry next, then the girls at about 15.00.

Al, Jimmy & Tee
enjoying their day out as spectators

A selection of refreshments were available from the Scout's tent (the WI cake stand and beer tent again conspicuous by the absence) but, much to Ad's dismay the ice-cream had run out - [Note to the organisers - you need more that 28L of ice cream when the temperature's over 30 degrees C! Ed.]. Information slowly dribbled in regarding the fate of the other three missing riders but the accuracy of the reports that they were "15 minutes behind" could not be relied on. Besides which, Al, Tee and Jimmy had eaten their fill of burgers, cups of tea, cans of coke and pureed vegetables and, Jimmy in particular, was getting restless. They could wait no longer - they packed up at 3.30 bound for home.

Bikes are discarded after the race
at the hospitality tent

Meanwhile…. somewhere way back in the forests on route to Checkpoint 3 which seemed to take forever to reach were the dogged TCA contingent, the Jo(h)ns regularly stopping to wait for their injured colleague in true Band of Brothers fashion. Billy-Bob, hoping to shake off his earlier injury, was forever cursing every bump and rutt as he bounced down the new route on Forestry Commission tracks (damn those event organisers!), and blaming his first generation coil sprung forks and dodgy knee joint. Grimacing every time he caught back up with the TCA advance party only to find yet again John had upended his bike and was yet again replacing another supposedly puncture-less inner tube.

For what seem to be turning into a true TCA epic on one of the hottest days of the year, the pain continued with yet more punctures and dwindling water supply leading John to complain about heat exhaustion. Billybob even considered an abort after checkpoint 3, knowing full well to continue up the final few hills may well see a premature end to his cycling career. In the spirit of the TCA he circumnavigated the last hilly section before the final check point by taking a cheeky unofficial road route which allowed him to rendezvous, for once ahead of the Jo(h)ns, who had announced they had used up the last spare on Jon’s fourth puncture of the day!

As the sun was setting and the event organisers were packing up their tents and event cards the intrepid trio were greeted on the final run in and escorted to the finish line by Ade and Jules who had patiently hung around to see them finish, fair play to them. Were we last? Possibly, who cares - we finished. Close, but no cigar this year and, more importantly, no coke and burgers!

Another eventful Chichester Challenge in the blistering conditions which seem to inevitably accompany the occasion. Thrills, spills, laughs and burgers (for some) - roll on 2009!

(Posted by: Ad, Paul, Al & Jon)

Walk of Shame

After much route choice deliberation Jon insisted on taking the infamous route up to the East Dean and through Goodwood Estate. The last ride was in May with John and before that in November with Al; but were largely unsatisfactory so hopefully this would be third time lucky, dispite the punctured tyres and mud, which tupically befalls Jon . The omens were not good as Jon discovering that he had a flat tyre before he and Billy-Bob set off. Billy-Bob had yet to 'enjoy' this route and after scoffing his iced Belgian Buns (no French Fancies for us again! ) would have agreed to anything anyway.

Billy-Bob on the Trundle

Following the delayed start the pair cycled fast around the Goodwood racing circuit, through East Lavant through a back street not previously discovered and then Chalkpit Lane up to the Trundle. Billy-Bob found the pace hard and was heard to shout after Jon "I'll see you at the top". Nevertheless the pair met three quarters of the way to the summit, admiring the scenery and the wild flowers (lots of Pyramid Orchids), and to take some photos. The ride skirted around the side of the Trundle, past some obstinate sheep along the way. There was also a slight delay due to difficulties in working out how to chain up the gate: Billy-Bob would not fare well in a Krypton Factor Test.

As usual we cut through part of the grounds of Goodwood racing circuit and onto the road towards the end of race track. At this point, we took a deep breath and hauled our bikes over the gate marking the beginning of a footpath down towards East Dean. Known as 'puncture alley' we rode carefully down the path avoiding any fallen hawthorn branches or fence posts, and being ever watchful of horse muck (which had so afflicted John last time). Being a sensible chap, Billy-Bob insisted on Jon taking the lead as a little bit of limbo was required to get bikes and riders under a electric fences, the pair eventually got the road and recuperated in the Star and Garter, although bikes or riders suffered electric shocks.

After the usual odd stares from a well-heeled clientele at the Star and Garter, the welcoming landlord served up two pints of Arundel Castle from the barrel. The landlord recognised Jon from previous visitations so we must have made an impact before. After due warning about the hill up to Dubholts and East Dean, we made slow and painful progress up to the wood. Jon just failed to make the top by pedal power but sadly Billy-Bob took the walk of shame, having found the uphill deceptively difficult over uneven track gullies and trees roots.

Walk of shame

At the top Jon was determined not to get lost as they had last time and so he guided the pair slowly to the right hand turn to cross over Selhurst Park Road.

More Shame

Riding through the edge of Goodwood Estate we got a decent speed up despite the rutted nature of the track and the extensive mud pools intermitted located along the route. At the end we chatted to a local, gardening, who was obviously surprised to see two professional bikers making such a fine job of riding along this track. He suggested a drink at the Anglessey Arms which we turned down on account of the famishing pangs we were now encountering. We got home, inner-tubes intact and enjoyed a hot chilli trying to find suitable TCA viewing. We plumbed for Harley Street (modeled on Hotel Babylon) but were sadly disappointed. However we were rudely interrupted by one of Jons cats using a bike tyre as a scratching post. The resulting loud rush of noise, like a jet engine, jolted resting riders out of theire seats, and the cats out of the cat flap, and ensured that this route has again lived up to its reputation as harbinger of punctured tyres.

(Posted by: Jon)

Fox Saves the Day

We had decided the week before to undertake the 'Long Chichester Ride', for the first time since July 2007. It was a fine summer evening and Jon arrived home from work to find Paul and John already checking over their bikes and kit - the omens looked good and conditions were perfect. After being let into the house cups of tea were served and everyone helped themselves to a French Fancy [For the benefit of our international readers this is a variety of fondant cream cake, not a lady of ill repute, Ed.]. Al was running late and had rang earlier suggesting that the three others ride ahead; he would catch up on account of his superior fitness. However, the other riders waited graciously for Al, who quickly gulped down a cup of tea and a French Fancy on arrival but grumbled that these particular cakes were not in keeping with the general image that the Association had worked hard to cultivate.

Al's late arrival meant that we set off with an amended plan - we now aimed to go beyond Chalton and then through West Dean, past the charcoal burners, then back down the Lavant valley. Steadily we went round the Goodwood motoring circuit, up Chalkpit Lane and on to the Trundle. John was King of the Trundle this week, the others were suspicious as to whether there was some surreptitious training going on.

John welcomes the stragglers
at the top of the trundle

At the top of the climb we turned right towards Goodwood horse circuit and Chalton. Jon casually mentioned that we might have to miss the pub at Chalton in order to travel a bit further, but immediately there were protestations from the ranks. Billy-Bob wanted his pint at Fox Goes Free! The route winds around the Trundle offering fantastic views of Chichester and it's hinterlands, and then incorporates a useful short downhill section towards the Goodwood Grandstand, where there was an eye-catching party going on. On the road now, we cycled past the horse racing circuit and then through Chalton Park on a bridleway along Chalk Lane to Chalton. While John and Al lead the ride together, John shot ahead on the steep drop into the village leaving Al to wonder about his form and/or suspension set-up.

There was no question of passing the Fox Goes Free - John and Al had quickly ordered 4 pints of Reg's Tipple, a pint that generated some debate: Some thought that it had a distinctive fruity taste with peaty overtones (John/Jon) but some thought it was just plain bland, with a slightly sickly backnote (Billy-Bob/Al); sadly there was no bearded CAMRA man on hand to settle the issue. However the choice of the next part of the route generated even more debate and discord;behind time for the original plan, we just could not decide where to go next. Eventually it was agreed that we would go back towards the top of Chalkpit Lane by the Trundle and take a right into the Lavant valley taking in a good downhill involving a steep grassy field.

Arguments rage at the Fox over the route ahead

We started the slog up Knights Hill with John well ahead again. Al immediately had technical difficulties and appeared to have got a large spanner out to adjust a jockey wheel. On closer inspection Paul and Jon saw it was a big stick that had got itself lodged in Al's rear derailier . Eventually we were off-road again and made our way through a meadow to the west of the trundle mound which was abundant with wild flowers, including pyramid orchids and yellow rattle. At the top of Chalkpit Lane, we turned right along the edge of a cornfield with Al uncharacteristically trailing due to further technical problems. We all raced down the grassy hill though, then followed the trail in the direction of East Lavant and the Royal Oak. This section was largely uneventful although John was berated for a minor departure from gate-opening protocol. Once at the pub there was no debate about the beer to have at the Royal Oak, as Skinners Betty Stogs was on tap, a brew from Cornwall that was the staple at Billy-Bob's wedding.

Rather than go back the way we came alongside the Goodwood circuit, we rode back through a bridleway leading to Summersdale, north Chichester for a change. It involves cycling past, and avoiding, a ford. Nevertheless Al took great pleasure in trying to barge Jon into it: Simple things please simple minds. Back at the house, spiced Moroccan lamb with couscous was served which went down very well with all concerned.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Elevation Profile (click to enlarge):

(Posted by: Jon)

Country Smells and Bike Washes

Eager to get stared after a cup of tea and some toasted teacakes, John and Jon ventured out along the track beside the Goodward Motor Circuit. The weather was cloudy and a bit cool but not bad considering that it was the beginning of summer with first Test match having taken place at Lords. It was easy going with little sign of the mud and deep ruts familiar to us in our winter rides and we quickly made progress to Chalkpit Lane to the Trundle. John was riding his full "sus" Scott that was now working properly and sparkling clean following a visit to the bike shed and repair undertaken free on warranty. After our exploits at the weekend, we seemed to make rather speedy progress up to Trundle although John was complaining of aching limbs following circuit training earlier in the week. (The lengths to which some members go to get fit for our rides is amazing - pity some others do't bother!).

At this point Jon realised he had forgotten his camera and it was too late to cycle back and get it. In any event the views [..and the riders, Ed.] were not particularly photogenic from the Trundle due to the haze and sticky atmosphere that had built up during the day. Off down the side of the Trundle we missed a couple of walkers and both of us almost got caught out by sharp zig zag at the bottom just before the road. Around the horse circuit at Goodward we quickly got to the infamous footpath leading down to East Dean. We have tied this path with the epithet "puncture alley" as every time Jon has tackled it he's had a puncture there. Johns track record on punctures has also not been good so after a bit of self-persuasion the pair hopped thier bikes over the gate and cycled down the middle of the path, careful to miss any potential source of thorns, nails or similar pointy objects. We navigated it safely although John had another problem with his bike, namely his seat and a country smell. This problem was not helped by a strange "Ellis" type smell emanatting from Johns' gloves - He had somehow managed to dunk them in horse faeces. Ignoring the smell as best as possible both bombed down the grassy hill towards the road at East Dean, Jon discretely keeping his distance from his partner.

At the Star and Garter, John promptly washed his hands and gloves and we enjoyed a pint each of Arundel Gold. We moved off after getting a bit chilly and made our way to hill that leads up to forestry track through the woodland that Al and Jon had found so muddy on their last winter visit. On this occasion too both riders failed to cycle all the way up and had to walk the steepest bit. Jon even managed to stall in mid motion and and flattened a good bit of field falling into the crops (sorry farmer!). The top the track was dry but challenging to ride over the ruts which required some nifty technical skills. Unfortunately we were enjoying this so much that we forgot to branch off down towards Halnaker and Goodward. Instead we headed towards Petworth. How we made this mistake, in the light, when we have never made this mistake in the dark, I do not know but worse navigation errors have rarely been made I'm sure [...don't bet on it, Ed.]. Having realised the error, Jon shouted "turn round" to John just as he was negotiating riding a high bank above a rut full of deep mud and water. After diverting his attention, Jon watched as John and his sparklingly clean bike slid down deep into the quagmire. Both bike and John then get even muddier trying to get out of this and turn himself and bike round.

John, surprisingly calm in this instance, was convinced where the pair were by Jon and both got back on the track. We both enjoyed a long downhill bumping over forestry track ruts and avoiding other mud patches through Halnaker Park to Halnaker itself and then rode the bikes back through the outskirts of Goodward House to Sainsburys petrol filling station where John spayed his bike (and himself) down to remove the worst of the mud. The evening was finished off by Spagetti bolognaise at Jon's place.

(Posted by: Jon)