Afan and the 'Man Plan'

After a good nights sleep at the Mattthews homestead in Devizes, we set off in convoy until it was realised that the Matthews car was not taxed. After a brief stop, it was decided that Jon and Charlie would continue and we would meet again at Chipping Norton once the tax was sorted. Jon was not impressed with this delay as he had got back early specially which is not a happy experience for him. Despite this we got to Afan just after 10 and embarked on the Whites trail.

The roll call

Julie and Ade soon showed up the rest of the group with their fitness levels having benefitted from a previous trip earlier in the year. For others, it was an experience with Jon crashing down a hillside looking for Ian behind him and Charlie crashing out but with more spectacular results, involving damage to both man and machine. However the ride was completed and we finished off in the Drop-Off cafe with copious amounts of food being consumed by Jon especially involving a huge lasagne and jacket potato - Billy-Bob would have been proud.

Scene on whites trail

The intrepid group set out from Glyncorrwg Ponds leaving behind the very soft and comfortable leather sofas and creature comforts of the ‘Drop-Off’ cafe! After a short wait where Charlie had his bike fettled (Rear mech hanger straightened, new rear mech jockey wheel, chain shortened and general shop TLC) we set of at a good pace along the stone/tarmac track that used to be the riverside railway, the start of ‘The Wall’ being some 6kms from Glyncorrwg site. We darted and dashed along the track playing like school kids with good weather on our backs and the excitement of the ‘Graveyard’ and other great technical downhill sections that lay ahead. A.D had the only bike with narrow enough handle bars to ride through the motor bike stoppers that stalled our progress momentarily.

The Wall starts with a long fire road track ascent interspersed with shorter cross-forest single track, which gives the rider a pleasant break from the constant push of the seemingly never ending ‘Up’! With spirits still high after a very successful ‘Whites Level’ completion earlier in the day, the group stayed together and nailed the climb. King of the Hills for the weekend had to go to Julie (shared with Big Jon) who seemed to lap up the hills with gusto! The start of the single track descent gave the group a nice taste of things to come and the accomplished group made light work of the early sections. The Graveyard gave a much larger test to the happy group (still enjoying the Welsh sunshine). Having had their ‘offs’ earlier in the day, the group stayed remarkably upright, finding their respective groves at the right time for the tricky Graveyard section which made the rider pick a careful route though the huge rocks with ample drops and sharp edges. The only stop for us was at the Old Ruin to enjoy a quick energy bar or guarana chewing gum (for the brave). The route was almost empty and we only saw 4 other riders the whole way around (maybe that was due to our speed!)

A breather from the Wall

The downhill continued to thrill and by now small jumps were being hit with speed and switchbacks were becoming relative pieces of cake. A highly recommended route even with the 6km outride and c.10km in ride above the river edge. Well earned beer and refreshments awaited after we built camp and cleaned ourselves up.

The group returned to the campsite, tired and hungry after 10k of seemingly never ending family route. The tents were erected rapidly under an increasingly grey sky and a growing wind and the promise of a hot shower and food to come. Gill and Ian’s tent had its first outing while pro camper Charlie-man scrounged tent pegs off the others having forgotten his own! The sweat, blood and mud was washed away in 2 minutes flat in accordance with the showers timer system and the girls returned to find Ad, Ian, Charlie and Jon hatching a ‘man-plan’ to secure our five bikes (plus one acquired from a pleasant chap in the next tent) to a very small tree. Cars were then moved to surround the bikes so that even the most accomplished bike thief could not break past our security (car) fencing.

The “man plan” puzzle

Man plan complete, the remaining boys went off to shower while Jules, Gill and Jon cracked open a beer, opened the crisps and began chilling in the camp chairs, unfazed by the start of the rain. Aware that time was getting on and that the time for last food orders was fast approaching the group headed back to the drop-off cafe. Jon was most disappointed to find that the lasagne had run out having craved a second helping of this monstrous sized dish since lunch. Charlie (?) and Ad filled up on the largest doorstop beans on toast you’ve ever laid eyes on and Gill, Ian and Jules settled for a pizza (each!) Dinner was eaten among recollections of the new energy section of Whytes, The Wall and talk of the days ‘offs’, a conversation Ian could avoid being the only one to escape a fall. Inspiration was gained from the mountain bike videos played in the cafe and we all picked up a few tips on how to glide over the rocks at speed for the following day. Tiredness soon began to get the better of us and the plans for a few beers were soon changed as the group started to fade at the table. Goodnights were said by all everyone made it back to the tents before the heavens opened and the rain came down, which was to last well into the night...

After a good nights sleep in the tent, we woke up nursing tired limbs which struggled to get moving after the two rides the day before. Julie was up first followed shortly by everyone else with Jon up last. Everyone had prepared different breakfasts for themselves ready for our ride of the day, Penhydd Trail. Gill and Ian munched some Pain au Chocolats, Charlie some porridge, later finished off by Ade, Julie and Ade some cereal whilst Jon munched a large iced flapjack.

The plan was simple, eat breakfast, wash, pack up, pay up and leave to go down the valley to Pontrhyden to start the trail. Part of this of course involved unravelling the man puzzle of interlocked bikes surrounded by cars to prevent bike thieves which had so impressed the womenfolk of the group. Remarkably all went plan including the unravelling of the bikes, chains and cars with the men congratulating themselves on job well done.

Sunday’s roll call

At Pontryhyden, it soon transpired that Penhydd trail had alot of ascent, 550m in fact. The trail involves alot of steep ups interspersed by technical downs and ups over rocks and tree roots along sides of hillsides. In fact lots of TTFs John, if you are reading this! The first requirement was though getting to the top. A tester of fitness which Julie took with gusto as she had the day before going up the Wall. However it was not to be her day as Jon overtook his pretender having something to prove after really losing the mantle of the King of uphills the day before. Gill and Ian took it steady as there was not really a race.

At the top, a poor welshman had to endure our chit chat and upon instruction from Julie refuse to divulge the tri-nation rugby score. However, to his relief, I am sure, we left after a brief debate over who should go first, with Jon being a bit cocky saying it was not his turn. So we set off with Ade in front along a narrow section before encountering some narrow zig zag sections such as Hidden Valley, Side Winder where we attempted to put all our skills learnt from the previous nights tv entertainment into practice, some achieved this more successfully than others. One thing was for sure, we all had no hesitation in tackling drop offs even if they seemed to drop all the way down into the valley. Certainly the number of craches were less than the day before apart from the odd tight switchbacks on the way down. Julie and Ade tried a particularly hard TTF along the side of boulder strewn river valley known as the Rocky Rebellion and we all found the Welsh version of the “Hambledon embankment” challenge on the other side of a ford which some, Ian, achieved better than others, Jon and Charlie.

Gill and Ian finishing the
ascent of the Penhydd Trail

All in all it was another achievement. Apparently the year before, the ride had been achieved in just over an hour and half which we did not achieve this year despite part of the trail being closed. However over 1500m of ascent and probably just under 50 km of riding was not bad in one and half days. We all said our goodbyes with some of us, the sensible ones, opting for showers before we got in our cars, and others , the foolhardy ones, deciding to put up with bodily odours and bad mosquito bites, for the M4 and our respective homes.

(Posted by: Ad, Ju, Jon & Gill)

The Chichester Challenge 2008

After a night spent at Meadow Barn Farm Ed, Ad, Jules and Charlie-man turned up at Oaklands Park dead on 9pm ready for the day ahead. Making their way over with Billy-Bob and Stef they met the rest of the group – Jerry, Jon, John and Gill - who were queuing to confirm registration. Al had spent the night shivering under the duvet, suffering as he was from a mystery illness which confined him to bed. He issued a sicknote at the last minute and was gutted to withdraw from what would have been his fifth Chichester Challenge.

The next problem of the day was the two queues - one to register and one to confirm registration. We obviously queued at the latter. The organisers had however failed to calculate the number of riders who would just turn up and register on the day due to the great weather. As a result, the start was delayed to just after 10am, a depature from the published start of 9.30 am. However this enabled the usual showing of bikes and gear (or lack of it in the case of Billy-Bob) to each other. In the case of John and Jerry they both found that they had the same tastes in kit in that they both had chosen matching white Commencal bikes - they looked like two embarrassed ladies with matching dresses at a wedding!

Left to right: Charlie, Jon, Stef (!), Billy-Bob,
Ad, Ju, Ed, John, Jerry

So after a late start due to a record number of participants the crew soon spread out along Broyle Road – Ed taking the lead, followed by Ad, Jerry and Charlie-man, the two Jo(h)ns then Jules, Gill and Billy-Bob bringing up the rear. The first hill proved to be a bad boy, a killer with Charlie-man being forced to stop part way up for a ‘moment’ before wisely deciding to complete the 30km route instead. Gill had ‘cold shivers’ in the 29 degree heat after two nights out on the trot but ploughed on regardless. Jon rode up in one go losing John, who was later found to pushing his bike up in a "walk of Shame" pose (above). However down the other side of this all riders negotiated a steep rutted flinty track down towards the second hill known as ‘Charcoal Burner’ on account of large wood burning stoves and at this point the leaders headed up in top form, AD and Jerry catching the man in the yellow jersey – Ed – to power on toward the first check point. It was at this point John was struggling with the heat but despite this kept up with Jon, with Julie and Gill leap-frogging them every so often.

The Female contingent: Ju & Gill

Jon rode up to the first check point first amongst this group seeing Ad and Jerry just leave here. It was from here along the South Downs Way stretch from Cocking to Harting that Jerry and Ed left Ad for dust at several points as they sped along with scant regard for personal safety! Meanwhile at this first check point Jon waited for John and whilst waiting saw Julie and Gill arrive chattering away as normal. John arrived and the two Jo(h)n set off after Julie and Gill with the leaders, amongst them, Ade, Jerry and Ed, well ahead by now. At this point I think we had forgotten about Billy-Bob - what friends are we!

Julie reaches Checkpoint 1

Following on behind Julie and Gill and the leaders along the South Downs Way stretch from Cocking to Harting, along Cocking Down, and the Devils Jumps, the Jo(h)ns made good progress especially down "Boneshaker Alley" towards Hooksway, mind you the pub was closed as usual ! It was particularly pleasing to see many cyclists hauled up at the sides of this "alley" with punctures and equipment failures of some sort or another - surely not something that would befall TCA riders! Jules and Gill had thoroughly enjoyed the number of fast down hill sections on it, one of which Jules almost had an ‘off’ when confronted with a particularly deep water gauge but just managed to recover in time... she was probably chattering to Gill thought Jon. The two girls made it to the top of South Harting Down in time to meet Keith (trusty father-in-law with the video camera) to be clocked a mere 15 mins behind the lead riders Ad and Jerry.

John - pre-puncture - tearing up the trail

Further uphill ascents ensured up Beacon Hill saw Jon overtake Julie and Gill but he waited with the two girls for his fellow rider John at check point 2. Jules, Gill, and the two Johns met up again and decided to track down the missing members of the crew: It was quickly established that Charlie-man was on his way round the shorter course and would meet us at the end. It was also discovered that Billy-Bob had completed a superman manoeuvre (most commonly seen in MBUK mags) and had flown over the handle bars down Bone Shaker alley, twisted his handle bars and injured both knees. With superhuman effort he was part way up South Harting Down when contacted - battered and bruised but otherwise fine. John discovered he had problems with his spindle and after a fight over who got to wait for Paul it was decided that as John had to fix his bike then he and Jonny P would gallantly cycle with their wounded comrade.

Billy-Bob demonstrates some
international sign language

Thus we were split it three groups – the Namibian dust-badgers (Ad & Ed) and Jerry (legs of steel) Anstey in the lead, Gill and Jules in the middle followed by the core TCA members. Spurred on by the sight of his father and sporting a huge home-advantage, Ad used the slip stream of some crazy Tandem riders to push on up the hill on the new section of steep Forestry Commission tracks. Jules and Gill, after almost getting lost at this point, proved their prowess (must be the practise in Afan) by beating 4 guys up the hill! The best moment being when the phrase ‘that’s not fair – being beaten by girls!’ was heard as they sped on past on a steep up hill track. With head down and bum up Ad continued through to Checkpoint 3 (Stoughton) where he hopped off the bike to plough through some cereal/fruit bars and Lucozade drink! He then got beaten on a short but steep uphill section out of Walderton having to take to two feet, through the gate (Gill and Jules also getting caught out here some time later). Through the long, fast, sweeping downhill section that followed, Ad picked up a rear blow-out (scaring the 4 picnic’ers in the adjacent field) and fully expected his team buddies to fly past!

Meanwhile, somewhere behind, Jules, who had ridden the course the year before, was offering Gill false hope by mistakenly referring to the third-to-last hill as the final one. After much effort, hot, uphill climbing and overtaking they reached the top of the final hill they took a breather to take in the sights. They were not to be disappointed as the Isle of Wight was clearly visible along the coastline and even the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth could be made out, surreal in the distant haze.

Three Dustbadgers: Charlie, Ad, Ed
enjoy a cuddle at the finish

The riders all pushed through to the balloon clad finish line to nurse sore muscles and replenish lost liquids and nutrients (with coke & burgers) and were greeted by their support crew - Al, T and baby Jimmy! They had had their own fun and games: Ill, but not wishing to miss out, Al had filled his cool box with ice-cold drinks, chocolate bars and energy gel and had driven to the Buriton check-point for 11.30am. In all previous years this had been the furthest check point before the turn for home, when energy levels were at a low ebb. This year however a last-minute route change left the car-park desserted except for a few dog-walkers. Not a fluorescent jacket in sight! Therefore, after driving round the fringes of West Sussex for almost an hour without seeing hide nor hair of a mountain biker, the three decided to cut their losses and head for the finish. Jimmy seemed to enjoy it most - the musicians, balloons and other infants provided ample entertainment until the TCA riders arrived to give a little of their attention.

The support crew were amazed when Charlie crossed the line first. No offence to the guy but he had the likes of Jerry and Ad to contend with, whose cyling prowess is legendary on this event! Charlie explained that he had overdone the start and, exacerbated by the heat, had decided to follow the 30km route rather than hack round the longer 55km route feeling grim. Ad was some 60mins later, looking as if he had been out for a Sunday afternoon stroll (only the moaning and rolling around on the floor gave away the real story), Jerry next, then the girls at about 15.00.

Al, Jimmy & Tee
enjoying their day out as spectators

A selection of refreshments were available from the Scout's tent (the WI cake stand and beer tent again conspicuous by the absence) but, much to Ad's dismay the ice-cream had run out - [Note to the organisers - you need more that 28L of ice cream when the temperature's over 30 degrees C! Ed.]. Information slowly dribbled in regarding the fate of the other three missing riders but the accuracy of the reports that they were "15 minutes behind" could not be relied on. Besides which, Al, Tee and Jimmy had eaten their fill of burgers, cups of tea, cans of coke and pureed vegetables and, Jimmy in particular, was getting restless. They could wait no longer - they packed up at 3.30 bound for home.

Bikes are discarded after the race
at the hospitality tent

Meanwhile…. somewhere way back in the forests on route to Checkpoint 3 which seemed to take forever to reach were the dogged TCA contingent, the Jo(h)ns regularly stopping to wait for their injured colleague in true Band of Brothers fashion. Billy-Bob, hoping to shake off his earlier injury, was forever cursing every bump and rutt as he bounced down the new route on Forestry Commission tracks (damn those event organisers!), and blaming his first generation coil sprung forks and dodgy knee joint. Grimacing every time he caught back up with the TCA advance party only to find yet again John had upended his bike and was yet again replacing another supposedly puncture-less inner tube.

For what seem to be turning into a true TCA epic on one of the hottest days of the year, the pain continued with yet more punctures and dwindling water supply leading John to complain about heat exhaustion. Billybob even considered an abort after checkpoint 3, knowing full well to continue up the final few hills may well see a premature end to his cycling career. In the spirit of the TCA he circumnavigated the last hilly section before the final check point by taking a cheeky unofficial road route which allowed him to rendezvous, for once ahead of the Jo(h)ns, who had announced they had used up the last spare on Jon’s fourth puncture of the day!

As the sun was setting and the event organisers were packing up their tents and event cards the intrepid trio were greeted on the final run in and escorted to the finish line by Ade and Jules who had patiently hung around to see them finish, fair play to them. Were we last? Possibly, who cares - we finished. Close, but no cigar this year and, more importantly, no coke and burgers!

Another eventful Chichester Challenge in the blistering conditions which seem to inevitably accompany the occasion. Thrills, spills, laughs and burgers (for some) - roll on 2009!

(Posted by: Ad, Paul, Al & Jon)

Dessert Storm takes on the London to Brighton

The London to Brighton British Heart Foundation 54 mile on-road race is the UK's largest charity bike ride with 27,000 riders cycling the scenic route between London and Brighton on the south coast.

Since 1980 when the BHF first became involved with the London to Brighton Bike Ride, over 650,000 riders have taken part in the event and more than £40 million has been raised to help fund pioneering research, patient care and vital information. (Please click on the picture above to donate). This year team Dessert Storm – catch phrase ‘Bring on the pudding!’ took up the challenge, made up of 5 ‘Dustbadgers’: AD Matthews, Charlie Gough, Jenny Moran, Charlie Sims, Ed Hazeldean and a coupla extras (and initial organisers) Jules (Prouting) Matthews and Gill Salisbury.

We met on mass in London on the Saturday night and so began a frantic attempt to prepare for the following day. Last minute bike repairs were made, race cards lost and found, team flags named and attached to bikes, tubes blown (way to go AD) and debates over the weather forecast (how can the BBC give three different forecasts in one day!??) and what to take by way of waterproofs were had before we all uploaded and headed for the pub for some quality English grub.

Rising bright and early on Sunday morning we made a good start from Jenny’s flat in Camberwell and commenced our 3.7 mile warm-up ride (courtesy of Charlie-man’s GPS) to Clapham Common. This took us through the surprisingly quiet streets of London picking up unknown competitors on route swelling the ranks of the relatively small peleton. Despite the knowledge of many miles ahead some play cycling was had to get to the grounds. Once at Clapham Common it became obvious that we, along with about 20,000 others were starting in staggered rows from 7.30am onwards which made the opportunity for a quick toilet stop in bushes as opposed to queuing for the portaloos an attractive option. Then time for a quick team photo before heading toward the start line.

Team Dessert Storm: bring on the pudding!

We stood in the 8.00am queue full of anticipation for the ride ahead, proving too much in some cases when more than half the group succumbed to the portaloos leaving AD, Jules and Jenny holding 7 bikes. Finally, the race started and it was all go. Or should have been but tens of thousands of people trying to get through the streets of London, on bikes, close together, with SPDs and lots of starts and stops meant that it took us around 1 and a half hours to cover the first 10 miles to the outskirts of the big city. Just like being stuck in stop start traffic on the M25 but worse as the danger of crashing is so much greater! Luckily the group emerged from the mass of cyclists together, frustrated but unscathed, expecting a freer ride now the city was left behind. Despite upholding the great English tradition of keeping to the left if going slowing (think motorway and London tube stations!) it was still frustratingly congested and hard to pass slower riders without cunning, aggressive (and sometimes, lets admit it, showy) riding (no names mentioned). We hit the first hill and as more and more people got off to walk so the congestion worsened and formed a bottleneck. Jules and Charlie took the lead, attacking the hill not at speed but with guile and gradually gained on the lead police car but despite their best efforts became stuck behind an impenetrable wall of riders. Not far behind Charlie-girl was pumping up the hill when a man in front of her stopped suddenly, with nowhere to go but down she fell with the bike, the first (but not the last) Dessert Storm casualty of the day. Bouncing back up she was at the top in no time and the team headed for hill no 2. This was reached at the 20 mile mark and once again the road became thick with riders. Once at the top Dessert Storm and the rest of the riders came to a grinding halt as an accident impeded any further progress for the next half hour.

‘Riders take a break whilst waiting for traffic to clear.’

Making the most of the sun, the team members (minus AD who was stuck somewhere up ahead) chatted, applied sunscreen, snacked and made friends with the random cyclists surrounding them. Stayed away from the old guy with the big sidies and the blow up doll though! AD eventually made his way to the team and the crowd started to move forward, passed the Dog and Duck pub. At around the 25 mile mark we flew passed the Burstow Scouts and on toward the second biggest hill of the ride, Turners Hill, at the top of which marked the half way point.

At the top of the hill we were met by Ed’s Mum, Dad and sister who had a spot on the green by the Lancing Brass Band with a prime time view of our fellow racers including punks, the pink panther, Fred Flintstone, Batman and the 118 118 men. We enjoyed a quick lunch in the rapidly fading sun and contemplated whether or not we’d get to Brighton before the forecast heavy showers set it in. Jules and Gill decided their KDC MBC luck would hold and rain would be avoided. So we took off with minds set on completing the last 24 miles and the giant obstacle that is Ditchling Beacon.

After an 8 mile blitz we passed the entrance to the Ardingly Showground and continued to push on stopping only for a water refill. Jules took on board another 2 litres after emptying her camelpack and whilst the other girls pushed on towards Ditchling, the boys waited (by accident only a few metres in front of 4 official photographers stationed on the gentle rise leaving Lindfield). After a few minutes we started to help the camera men and women out by making jokes to the traffic as they rose out of the picturesque village.

Once Jules rejoined the team, the remaining foursome took the chance to use their speed and try their overtaking skills on the hundreds of riders surrounding them. Ad & Jules tried slip streaming one another to save valuable energy for the last slog! Soon the group were up together again and closing in on their pre-arranged Ditchling break.

We pulled of the road and enjoyed a break from the saddle before planning our tactics for the ascent and descent before meeting the city limits. The Ditchling Village rest and refreshment stop had all the usual treats, portaloos, drinking water, bike mechanics and resting space in the gardens of a beautiful private dwelling opened up by the owner who welcomed everyone into the garden and was happy to have several hundred strangers spread out across his manicured lawns.

The time had come and the ascent had to be nailed, so we mounted up and started pumping those peddles, most of us chose to stay right and ride as fast as we could overtaking where possible. ‘The Beacon’ had been billed as ‘nothing we had ever summitted before’ due in the main to the sheer number of riders and more particularly walkers choking the narrow road. When the 400m rest stop sign was passed it spurred us on and when the PA system could be heard clearly enthusing the riders to keep going the ascent was basically over and gave us time to lower the heart rates, calm the breathing and take in the panorama. Not that this was a race, but the order was Ed, Ad, Charlie Man, Jules, Gill, Jen and Charlie Girl. We regrouped and started the long descent toward the finish, Charlie Man and Ed streaked away whilst AD was looking back the other way, leaving the local yokel in their wake. It took the next 10 minutes of flat out peddling by Mr. Matthews and good luck at the traffic lights for the 3 boys to be in convoy once again. The last section along the half open roads through Brighton was a little interesting as the group were more used to non-traffic routes, so the boys tried their hands at lane hoping and white-lining between the steady and stopped traffic on the busying roads.

In sight of the finish and Ad faked a sprint then sat back in the saddle, but it was too late and Charlie and Ed zoomed away once again crossing the finish before jamming the anchors to receive their medals in efficient BHF organised fashion.

The group re-gathered and beat their way through the thousands of finishers and on lookers between Madeira drive and the Beach towards the fish and chip stands for a well earned dinner, however the weather was turning sour and the group decided to head for the bus and get back to the big smoke! This seemed to be going well and with bikes carefully bubble wrapped and in the truck and tired bums on the coach seats we were happy… Then after being stationary in Streatham for 25 minutes, the driver announced that a tube station fire had caused the hold up and was unlikely to be cleared for an hour at least, so we took the option to off load 100 passengers and bikes and ride the remaining 5ish miles back to Jenny’s flat!

Charlie Man off-loading!

Ride Elevation (click to enlarge):

If you think Dessert storm have earnt their pudding
you can add to the value raised on behalf of
the British Heart Foundation by clicking HERE!

(Posted by: Ad)

Collingbourne Canter

John, Charlie-man, Ad and Ju all met up at Ludgershall Castle (on the outskirts of the MOD town of Ludgershall in Wiltshire, on the edge of Salisbury Plain) for a bike ride through Collingbourne Wood. Ad and Ju arrived late (as usual) to find Charlie fine tuning his bike and John ready to go. After some swift unloading of the VW Polo we were ready to rock 'n' roll: We made our way to the castle to admire the remnants of ‘Ye olde Royal Gate House’, a favorite hunting lodge of Henry III, before setting off at a good pace toward the wood.

Ju and Ad check out the local history

After some moderately open riding we snuck down a footpath and lifted our bikes over the stile for a clean run toward the woods. Ad was in his element as we weaved our way at high speed through the picturesque autumnal beech woodland dodging tree roots and stumps and attempting to jump the odd obstruction. Charlie had his GPS and much to our delight found the correct setting (after a short delay) to pinpoint our position on the trusty O/S map which Ad had neatly folded away in his pocket - just incase his plan didn’t go to plan. Ad’s plan actually consisted of: 1. we meet at the castle; 2. look at the castle; 3. sneak down a short footpath into the woods; 4. ride around till we were all too tired; 5. find our way back. (A better plan than has benefited numerous a previous ride that's for sure! Ed.)

The TCA emerge, blinking in the sunlight
(Left to Right: Ad, Ju, John, Charlie-man)

The track was gently undulating with only one real hill worthy of breaking into a sweat (Jonny P & Jerry would have been disappointed) which Charlie and John flew up while Ad brought up the rear suffering with chain/gear trouble. Then came the big event – ‘New Zealand Farm’ – (above). We stopped at the Farm sign, which was a definite must as Ju would have really spat the dummy otherwise. We then dropped down the longest and steepest down-hill section yet, which was a long blast over a graveled track that had some interesting washed out sections – again testing the riders' bunny-hopping skills. During this exhilarating descent Ju's rear tyre gave up the ghost, blowing out at high speed. Unfortunately the ever intrepid Ju had to walk the last 150m of the descent. Some slick tube changing ensued and in no time at all we were back on our way into the wood for some more single track fun (Ad having learnt his lesson long ago about putting the bike wheel on the right way around).

Having passed 2 horse riders, we soon came across 2 ramblers, the awesome foursome stopped abreast the track in formation trying to judge which way the ramblers would head or whether they would be intimidated into moving aside….. They carried on and turned right in front of the staunch barrier – actually they hardly even noticed us as we caught our collective breath and decided which track to take at the cross road ahead!

The Best Autumn Colours in years

We followed our senses and rolled our way back through the web of tracks (not more than 40cms wide in most cases) testing ourselves where ever possible. We did get a little lost when the track came to an end winding into ever decreasing circles before we realised what had happened. John H, being the most sensible by this stage, knew what was coming so saved his energy whilst watching the 3 kids get tangled up. We then blasted through the wood jumping our way over or crashing our way through branches pruned from the canopy.

With lunch time fast approaching a gorgeous autumn Sunday afternoon to enjoy, we checked our handy folded map and took off toward the Castle. The track narrowed further still and we found that it was certainly single file time as we wound our way along the increasingly exciting tracks. Heading back always seems slightly down hill and as such our speeds increased – together with the track width and inability to see what obstacles lay ahead gave us cause for a laugh when Ad rear ended John after a blind corner with a large route crossing the track.

Getting closer to our cars and - more importantly - the pub we cruised back without further mishaps, Ad undertook an external inspection to an un-named property under his control, (note he charged no overtime for this valuable service) then the gang packed up and headed for the Pub. Matt, had he been there, would have loved this joint - with it's chav clientele, low lighting, alcho pops, no real ale (Noted by John) and massive sound system with Kareoke! The sweaty dirty group took their well deserved bevvies out to the sun-lit garden, partly so Charlie could download his stats and so that we could keep a beady eye on the Bikes!

Colingbourne wood gets the seal of approval for a fun short-to-mid length ride without major hillage!

Route Map (Click to enlarge):
Elevation/Speed profile:

(Posted by: Ad)

Y Ddraig Goch Ddyry Gychwyn

After competing in the Helly Hansen adventure race the previous week, and still up for more challenges, John and Jon decided to head off to sunny Wales (well that’s what BBC weather site forecast) with Mrs John to tackle what has been called Mountain bikers Nirvana, Afan Forest Park. Concerned for the fearsome reputation of the Gaelic tribes (Twll dîn pob Sais! Ed.) we thought it best to go up in force, so teamed up with a posse that Ad and Ju had put together. With bikes prepared, Vince the camper van loaded with provisions and sufficient nutrition for the forthcoming assault (Al would have approved of the energy bars and drinks that J & J had prepared, but not the choice of music that accompanied the journey) the trio headed off on Friday night to Devizes to rendezvous with TCA veterans Ad and Ju.

Once ensconced in their house, having eaten and drunk Ad and Ju out of house and home, we went to bed at a reasonable time, as an early start was needed to get to Afan for a 10am start the following day.On arrival in Wales (just over the Severn Bridge) guess what..? It was raining! As we headed to Afan the rain got steadily worse. On arrival at the Glycorrwg campsite in Afan Park, we met up with the other intrepid adventurers: Scott the single speed king; Charlie Boy; Charlie Girl and Ed. After some debate the group split into 2, with Ju's heading off to the main park centre to meet with 3 more riders, where an assault on the “Wall” trial took place. The rest of us then decided to attack the infamous “Skyline” trail, or at least part of it as the weather was truly disgusting.

Croeso i Gymru

In for a penny and in for a pound, Mrs John decided that she too would come with us , on the basis that apparently after a fairly short but technical start the trail became easier. It should be pointed out at this stage that the only “serious” off road riding Mrs John had done up to this was some single-track riding in the relatively flat Thetford Forest, two weeks previous. The start was extremely technical due in part to its design, route, the presence of lots of boulders, tree roots, switchbacks and extent of the vertical ascent, but the extreme wet also added to the difficulty. After what seemed an age and with the majority of the group having to wait for the struggling but determined Mrs John (at this stage let’s introduce her real name - Emma) and her concerned (and feeling very guilty for getting her into this) husband, we arrived at the top. (it should also be added that although at times Em’s sense of humour failed, at no times were there any expletives or threat of divorce mentioned, unless that was they were under her breath).

Emma (centre) , still smiling!

The trail then switched on to mixture of forest fire break tracks, single track, with some spectacular downhill’s and allegedly some equally spectacular views over the Welsh hills (well that’s what Jon told John!), but being up so high and that we were in the rain cloud, this could not be validated. Due in part to the time it had taken and the fowl weather conditions the group decided to take one of the short cut routes back to the start. Up to this point the intrepid seven had suffered a number of falls, but Em was to suffer one which prevented her from riding further (it’s not so easy steering when one arm refuses to play). Fortunately a jeep appeared soon after Em’s fall with a very helpful couple of guys in who were doing a reckie for a forthcoming RAC rally in the park. Em and her bike were loaded into the Jeep for a trip back to the campsite (with mobile phone to let us know she had arrived safely). Joking aside the guys were very helpful and went out of their way to help so John owes them a debit of extreme gratitude. On the way back down to camp they gave Em lots of useful info about the area, think they were worried about her going into shock so just kept on talking to her (sometimes in Welsh). The infamous 6 continued onward - tackling an excellent, but technically and physically demanding downhill section - back to the site. The excitement for the day was not over; with several of the group suffering from falls, and one puncture, but all eventually made it back down in one piece. Back at the campsite the bikes were all jet washed down, the riders put themselves through cold showers (they were supposed to be hot, but the water tanks could not cope with the volume of people needing showers that day…still charged 50p for the privilege)!

In the Touchdown Café the group tucked into some excellent cakes and hot drinks, and collectively decided that we would call it a day and head back to their respective homes. The weather forecast for the following day was as bad, the campsite was looking like a water meadow, plus the promise of warm beds, the thought of a lie in (plus the extra hour in bed due to change to GMT), Sunday papers, Sunday roast, etc etc (you get the idea) all contributed to the decision. Vince was packed up with soggy clothing and tired, cold riders (John, Jon and Em). We set off home, arriving some 3.5 hours later, in time for Jon to get home to order his takeaway curry. Afan park offers an extremely diverse range of trails, all of which clearly have been thought through and are well maintained. The campsite at Glycorrwg offers a good site with, showers, an excellent café open to 10pm and a very good mountain bike shop. Despite the weather and difficulties encountered, John and Em were very happy to be asked along, as the group were all very friendly, helpful, and patient, and despite all there was still an excellent sense of humour present. Ad and Ju’s hospitality was much appreciated on the Friday night so we will hopefully be getting back to Afan at some stage next year, but better prepared next time (including first aid kit and strong painkillers)…and hoping for some good weather (Don't bank on it - it is Wales after all! Ed.)

(Posted by: John)

Devil's Drop-offs & Directional Disarray

Arriving early Jon enjoyed a customary cuppa at the National Trust Cafe before the others arrived: A few last minute phone calls were all it took to organize a rare weekend outing for him, Charlie, Ade and Julie. The ever popular Hindhead Common and Devil's Punchbowl car park was chocker-block with dog walkers, horse riders, bikers and alike but team TCA eventually found each other among the urban detritus, despite Julie’s inability to tell left from right [although it should be pointed out there is some debate whether Jon's notorious inability to accurately relate instructions was actually at fault, Ed.].

Dodging dog walkers and strollers provided ample entertainment at the start of the ride but the first downhill section was safely negotiated before appearing on the heathland of Hindhead Common. Unfortunately no one scored any points from hits – we wondered if there was anything in the Country Code to prevent one from so doing. We cycled through Highcomb Copse to Ridgeway Farm, tackling a challenging rutted track with drop offs which was narrow and steeply banked on both sides. We had our first stop to look at the map which Jon had brought at the last minute despite assurances from others (Ade) that they knew the way: In typical fashion we realised that we were on a wrong tack and should instead be riding down a rugged bouldered track towards Little Cowdray Farm. This section is a tester of suspension with more seriously tricky downhill drop offs, a test too stern for Julie's aging forks.

Portrait of a Couple in Love, with bikes
(Julie & Adrian)

Having negotiated the descent we chose to cycle through the Ford rather than across the Bridge and started the steep uphill towards the Farm. Ad managed to get to the top without stopping, Charlie nearly, but Jon and Julie crashed unceremoniously into the banks of the track towards the top and pushed the last few meters.

Back on the heath it was thirsty work as we cycled up gritty gravel paths into the sun. Again the realization hit us that we did not know the traditional route devised some years previous and last ridden in April 2006. Using a tried-and-tested TCA emergency procedure however, we agreed to head towards the vehicle noise along the A3 which we knew we had to cross at some stage. The tactic duly worked and we were through onto the other side in no time. It was noted that some riders at this stage appeared to turn for home towards the car park (we had only been riding for a hour and done about 3 miles or so). After a brief talking to, the whole group dropped downhill to the East and into an unknown wooded section. We had one stop to look at the map but gave it up as a bad job - all agreed we did not know where we were - even Charlie’s GPS did not yield any grid references and our concentration was disrupted by some redneck starting up his angle grinder in a shed right next to us [Is that round about way of saying you got lost, again? Ed.].

Ad burns up the trail

Taking the initiative Jon decided to ride where the best looking tracks were in the general direction of the car park. It was evident that some of this was in the Foot and Mouth exclusion zone evident from warning notices and disinfectant maps. Despite protests of "where are you taking us?" and "warn us of what is ahead!", everyone enjoyed some challenging up-and-downs, practicing BMX skills and attempted bunny-hops off the beaten track.

Jon attacks a drop-off

We got back to the car park and had a quick pint at the Devil's Punch Bowl Hotel bar following which Ade and Julie rushed off to do some baby sitting. Charlie and Jon went their separate ways after a while reminiscing about their trip to Afan .

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Altitude Profile:

(Posted by: Jon, Photos & Maps: Charlie)

The Chichester Challenge 2007

Understanding that endurance sport is all about preparation Al was woken by his alarm at 05:45 this Sunday morning: After weeks of hard training and a strict diet he had only to complete the essential last-minute 'carbo load' before the event. A customary breakfast of Poweraid sports drink, cereal and the all important banana were consumed to provide energy and hydration for the day ahead. A few miles away John H was going through a similar routine: making up his favoured SIS performance drink to replace lost electrolytes and fluid on the course, and packing his precious GO Gel into his back pack. Final tweaks were made to equipment, essential tools and spares were checked (and re-checked) and performance clothing and lucky socks (set aside some days before) were donned with anticipation, before bikes were loaded into cars for the journey to the long-awaited City of Chichester International Challenge.

It was with with some surprise that Al found Jon P still asleep when he arrived at his house at 07.30. Hurriedly getting up and throwing on some clothes to answer the door, Jon gulped back half a cup of tea while trying to locate the various basics required for the days ride. He was almost ready as John H and then Jerry swung into his drive looking tense. We all mumbled our hellos and nervously readied for the off under the thick grey clouds - the weather forecast was foreboding - cool, overcast conditions were predicted with the threat of thundery showers looming, in total contrast to the searing heat of the previous year's event.

We made the short, familiar trip through the city centre to the start of the course in Oaklands Park (Map 1, SU862054). Shortly after registering our entries and picking up route maps we were joined by established Associates Ad and Ju who arrived with Ed and Charlie, veterans of a previous campaign. The reunion and the prospect of the highest TCA turnout in history lightened the mood. Ad showed off the latest tweaks on the ex-Billy-Bob machine - shiny new hydraulic disc brakes would get their first run-in today! After some neglect though Ad's forks were running quite flat so Al commandeered a fork pump from one of the gear stands to adjust the pressure [For future reference: 50 psi in each leg]. Charlie showed off his new GPS unit and was nominated as Route Calibration Officer by Al, who realised that his was still at Jon P's house. Debates about whether or not to wear waterproofs were the topic of conversation, although the weather was still holding out.

Team TCA '07 (from left):
John; Al; Jon; Ju; Ad; Ed; Jerry; Charlie

Before long we were lined up by the officials and set off to the sound of the air-horn. 300+ cyclist on machines - ranging from top-of-the range models with carbon composite frames, to basic Halfords mountain bikes (and all points in between) - crossed the start line. Al took off first, slipstreaming a couple of hardcore off-roaders, followed by Jon, then Jerry, then John, all adopting a maverick approach. The peloton of Ad, Ju, Ed and Charlie brought up the rear, commendably bringing a team ethos to the event, but never to be seen again by the mavericks that day.

Heading due north and climbing gently out of Chichester Jon P finally caught Al just before the first checkpoint (SU858122). The sharp descent approaching West Dean and Jon's Fumbling to find his checkpoint card meant Al was away from the checkpoint first. His lead was short-lived however as, first Jerry and then Jon caught and overtook him on the punishingly steep ascent out of the village (Map 2). Al managed to hold onto Jon until the next serious ascent through Westdean Woods towards the South Down Way, as the sun came out and the temperature rose contrary to the forecast. The Mavericks were again separated for a time; Jerry would stay out in front for the rest of the day.

Approaching the second checkpoint (SU849171) a speeding, lycra-clad elite rider abruptly announced his intention to overtake Jon on a fast downhill section. Jon allowed himself a wry smile as the rider got past but then hit a rut and was catapulted over the handlebars and head-long into a barbed-wire fence. Only his pride was dented thought Jon, but Al caught up with (who he presumed was) the same rider a few minutes later at the first checkpoint trying to beat a huge buckle out of his front wheel; the day was over for this competitor.

Towards South Harting from the Downs

Al eventually caught Jon again on the ascent to Harting Down. Al figured that he was now in his stride since Jon is usually stronger going up hill. It was only later that Jon explained he had paused to take a few snaps with his new camera. Nevertheless the pair stayed together (primarily due to gremlins in Jon's rear mech.) all the way through to the third checkpoint at the QE park above Buriton. The pair seemed to settle into a more relaxed pace and even stopped for a snack (below), sitting on their customary log (SU765192). This year Al's snack of choice was the highly ethical Chocolate and Raisin GeoBar while Jon favoured an Alpen Nutty Chocolate 'Groove' Bar, for two years in a row Jon again seemed to have selected the more palatable choice of sustenance.


Having remounted it was only a short spin to the next checkpoint (SU733198) where they got the cards stamped for the third time and took on board some water. The pair were closely followed by John H who looked grateful for the refreshment. The three set off together to start the pleasant down-hill road-based section of the route towards Huckswood Lane. It was around this point, as we headed off-road again, when Jon P started paying for his scant regard to basic nutritional requirements earlier in the day; he was complaining of cramp in one leg as the sun beat down on the sweating competitors. Jon took time out to nurse his muscles while John H and Al continued without him bound for the forth checkpoint at Stoughton (SU801115). Jon P caught up briefly while the other two chatted to a collection of riders gathered at the checkpoint, one being patched up by another after a nasty-looking leg injury. However, after a brief flat road section out of the checkpoint, Jon P was suffering again on the long ascent towards Kingley Vale. John H seemed to be experiencing the complete opposite - fueled on by his SIS energy products - he produced a reserve of energy and strength for the climb. John and Al stayed together for the remainder of the ride: the descent towards Chichester; through the fifth and final checkpoint (SU834083); down the winding country lanes to the outskirts of town and over the finish line back at Oaklands Park, where we could finally catch up of the progress of others and tales of crashes we had collectively witnessed on our way round.

Thankfully we had all avoided major incident although Ed (the only one of us with un-padded shorts) was apparently complaining of severe saddle-soreness towards the end of the ride. This was exacerbated by the fact that his legs tired and he had no choice but to remain seated. His companions in the peloton reported that he seemed to be grimacing with pain for a large part of the ride and was particularly grateful for any opportunity to dismount along the way. Top TCA marks to Ed though who traveled from Bristol, leaving at 05:00 having had too much sun the day before and too little sleep that night, to make our pre-event meeting at 08:00. Commendation too to Ad who demostrated the TCA's generous spirit by saved an ailing Canadian rider from impending doom; the loan of a tyre lever enabled him to fix a puncture and continue the ride. (On hearing about this after the ride it was with a faint tinge of guilt that Al recalled someone with a North American accent explaining to him that he though he had a 'slow' as they climbed away from the Royal Oak at Hooksway together; "good luck mate!" hailed Al as they reached the subsequent descent, assuming that his new friend had all the necessary equipment to ameliorate the situation).

Jerry, also sailing past other stricken riders on the course without a thought, finished first in approximately 3h 40min; John H and Al coming in together about 30 minutes later at approximately 12:40; Jon P was 10 minutes behind hampered by cramp and technical difficulties in the final section on the course. We congregated around Jerry who was reclining on the grass in the sun with a welcome can of coke. Having finally crossing the line, notching up close to 37 miles in the process, it was a relief to dismount our sore behinds from saddles. We immediately began looking to refuel our depleted energy resources. It was at that point when, to our horror, we realised that there was no WI home made cake stand this year - the highlight of previous year's outings. We thought of the trauma counseling that would have had to be employed for Billy-Bob if he was amongst our number! Turning to the Scouts burger stand (invited in place of the WI on account of it being their centenary year) we were relieved to see that amongst the hot dogs and bacon butties were (albeit a smaller selection) home-made cakes too. The horrific revelations were not over however when, as we turned with burgers and cake in hand to find refreshment, it became apparent that there was no beer tent this year either! All that way, and for what? Home and hosed the mavericks sought solace in a cup of tea as they sheltered from the light rain which had begun to fall as Jon crossed the line.

John, Al, Jerry and Jon returned to base feeling a little cheated. Their day's wasted John and Jerry packed bikes into their cars and headed home. Al and Jon reflected on the day's events over another cup of tea as thunder crashed, lightening flashed and the heaven's opened releasing torrential rain. Cake or no cake, beer or no beer - at least they were indoors unlike Ade, Ju, Charlie and Ed - the peloton were still suffering somewhere out there on the course, eventually coming in at about 13:45.

Route - Map 1 - South (click to enlarge)
Checkpoints shown as red spots:
Route - Map 2 - North (click to enlarge)
Checkpoints shown as red spots:

Elevation Profile:

(Posted by Al; Pictures by Jon; Maps courtesy of Charlie)

Return to West Marden

On a friday night, not a usual day for a TCA ride, we all met up at Ad and Ju's former home at Nyewood, South Harting. After a few running repairs to Jons bike, another flat tyre and adjustments to his chain, we waited round for Julie who had travelled back from her new home in the west country, some place beginning with a D. She had been left to her own devizes and was late, something to do with catching the cat and putting her in the car, (I think that I got that right) we left just about before 7. The hardcore couple of Scott and Sophie had already arrived in their Tandem from Petersfield. We had not forgotten the route and stormed away apart from Jon down through Nyewood, outskirts of South Harting and along West Harting Down. The missing link in Jons bike chain was playing havoc though as he could not engage the higher gears so the pedaling was fast and furious in order to try and catch up with the others.

Coming down from West Harting Down, there was a gradual meandering down hill through small farms, Ladyholt, Eckensfield and Hucksholt farm and then onto a small section of road. Unfortunately, we met a ramble of amateur mountain bikers in various guises littering our way ahead. One chap had a broken chain. Jon was in no mood to engage in offering advice and it looked like the chap could do with the exercise in walking his bike back home. We quickly sped past them and then cycled down and up a field up to Robin Wood. The weight of the Scott and Sophie Tandem had no problem in dropping down and up this field but for the rest of us the going on the grass was tougher.

After a pleasant ride through the wood, we cycled onto open downland and admired the wild flowers, Cowslips at Horseley farm, and then sped towards the West Marden. The sleeping policemen present along this track in past rides had been removed which was a shame. They had provided entertainment in previous rides in gaining lift off on the downhill. Ade still thought of doing his crazyhorse bmx antics again but thought better of it. Once at the pub, we ordered the Timothy Taylor Landlord, pissy lager for Julie and a fruitjuice with a dainty pink umbrella for Sophie. We had an interesting conversation about partners nicknames, oddities, etc which it is best not to go into here suffice to say that we should congratulate Juls and Ade on their engagement.

From Left: Scott, Sophie, Ad, Jon, Julie
(Necking drinks without even a pause to toast absent friends?! Ed.)

In supping up Juls tried to offload her pissy lager but there were no takers. At this point, Sophie tried to impress with a war wound experienced through an altercation with a door at the pub. (Sorry Sophi,e the drawing of blood has to be through an official off on an active duty to count for the purposes of TCA membership and in large quantities)!

We then cycled up towards Locksach Farm with Ade in the lead and soon were approaching the gully between Harting Down and Beacon Hill. We took the gradual ascent up the gully taking the higher route and as per usual had to circumvent the gate. By now it was getting dark and we undertook one of my least favourite rides down the Devil's Toilet down off the Downs towards Telegraph Lane. As per usual, Julie and Jon took it carefully negotiating exposed holed out tree roots which had the unfortunate knack of capturing your back wheels. Scott and Sophie and Ade just bombed down. We got home to Nursted and much to our surprise had a welcome meal prepared by Ade's mum on the hoof. The pizza, garlic bread and a noodle creation made to a Mathews family secret recipe went down very well.

(Posted by: Jon)