Buriton Betrayal

With John using one of the lamest excuses in TCA history; “I have to pick up a camper van”, and Jon’s bike hamstrung by a succession of technical faults, with parts on order, it was looking bleak for the long-awaited trip to Buriton. However, Jon resorted to taking his ancient rigid bike out of mothballs and, having tweaked the brakes and pumped up his tyres, arrived in Hambledon with his day-glo monstrosity (below).

With more mileage than usual to cover this evening we rushed to get ready, donning our usual garb and making last-minute adjustments to equipment and lights. We were out of the house before 6.30pm. At about 6.40pm we were in a lay-by, Jon’s bike upside down to attend to the problem of his rear tyre rubbing against the frame. Was it going to be another one of ‘those’ evenings we thought to ourselves as Jon undid the well-worn nuts with one of the various adjustable spanners which have to accompany an evening out on his ‘old school’ bike.

With Jon’s pedaling efficiency vastly increased following the pit-stop our average speed increased considerably: Al’s mapping software suggested that we would only be home in reasonable time for dinner if we maintained an average speed of over 10 mph and we had the formidable Butser Hill ahead of us. As we made our way up past the Bat & Ball and up to the ridge of the South Downs Al supplied the appropriate ‘encouragement’ to Jon “Come on you miserable worm, the average speed is only 8.7 mph!” or “Step it up you lousy piece of…” you know the kind of thing.

It was raining lightly when we left Hambledon but the evening cleared offering magnificent views down the Meon Vally from Butser Hill – we could trace the return route at the foot of the downs and also see the second ascent through the Queen Elizabeth Country Park across the valley ahead. The descent of Butser Hill was terrific although we were both rattled around a bit more than usual as we longed for our plush suspension bikes. With 30 minutes in hand before our scheduled appointment at Buriton we steeled ourselves for the final serious ascent of the evening from the visitor’s centre.

Joining the road for the descent into the village we were soon pulling our bikes into the garden of one of the TCA’s favorite pubs (curiously we had never cycled here before though), the Five Bells. Knowing we would have had the full endorsement of Tortoiseshell we ordered two pints of Badger’s Tanglefoot and waited for our rendezvous.

This had been a ride several weeks in the planning, conceived during the recent Boy’s Weekend. Our contact, in the blogosphere known only as ‘Sloppy Porridge Maker’ (SPM), was to cycle the relatively short distance from his home in Petersfield and join us for a couple of beers. Imagine our disgust as the familiar form of our acquaintance emerged, not in the saddle but from the comfort of his Landrover Explorer! The excuse provided was so tenuous I struggle to remember it… something to do with work. Shame.

Sloppy Porridge Maker (identity withheld for fear of retribution),
Jon and Al enjoy a pint at the Five Bells, Buriton

We shared a quick beer with SPM and tried to hide our distain as best we could. SPM vowed to plan things a little better and cycle next time. Nevertheless we drank our pints swiftly, made our excuses and left the muggle to his own devices, only to see him briefly as his Chelsea tractor overtook us on the road out of Buriton spewing it’s carbon dioxide as it went; ‘next time’ indeed.

Knowing that we had tackled the most serious climbs and that the rest of the route was road-based Jon and Al settled back into the saddle for a leisurely ride down the meandering country lanes towards Frogmore and East Meon. We stopped for a second beer at Ye Olde George as a reward for keeping the average speed above the critical level. More Badger beer to choose from but we plumped for Tanglefoot again as we sat in the pub garden and enjoyed the cool, clear evening.

A toast to absent friends

Suitably reconstituted we headed back towards home with a final climb over the downs and a speedy down-hill approach to Hambledon. We made it home in good time; perfect time as Tee took a delicious home-made lasagna out of the oven. Jon and Al both felt that the route was really worthwhile, of an ideal length with top-class pubs and reluctantly agreed we would indeed give SPM one last chance in due course.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Elevation Profile:

Speed Profile:

(Posted by: Al)