West Harting Recce

Billy-Bob's injuries were keeping him off his bike this week, and John was waylaid by work commitments. Jon and Al stuck to the original arrangement and met at the main car park of QE Park with no particular plan in mind. After a quick (Al had forgotten to bring cakes and tea-making facilities) squint at the map they decided to tackle a modified version of the route demonstration by Wrong John last summer: We thought we would spice the ride up with a ride through West Harting Down, a wooded section employed by the course planners to provide further punishment on the recent Chichester Challenge.

The pair progressed at a leisurely pace out of the Park towards Charlton, stopping briefly to allow John to adjust his saddle before turning cross country at the top of the climb out of the village. There was slight confusion when we joined the road before we found the overgrown and obscured footbridge over the railway line at Woodcroft Farm. We then picked up the obvious bridle path towards West Harting Down. Jon's recent mileage was showing itself as he raced to the top of the Down leaving Al to eat his dust. There was only a minor mix-up that was soon rectified by confirming our location on the map using the GPS before getting on our way again.

Al and Jon take a break after
their climb to the top of the downs

Joining the familiar South Downs Way we headed for Buriton, taking a track known as the Milky Way down the hillside towards the village. The Milky Way is certainly not named after the sweet chocolaty treat from our childhoods - it was boggy, muddy, slippery and muggy. It was a relief to get back on the road, and past the tithe barn which surely would have had Billy-Bob wetting himself if he were with us. A quick pint of Badger's Fursty Ferret in the Five Bells (supplemented with chocolate energy bars left over from Jon's weekend in Afan) and we were back out for the village, bound for the western entrance to the QE Park. Again Jon made short work of the deadly climb while Al lagged behind.

John waits for Al at QE's rear entrance

We continued climbing through the Park, joining the Red Route once inside, which took us even higher. We skimmed round the northern fringes of the park before turning downhill. The route we took back to base was different to the one previously used and had much sharper turns than before. The dank conditions and rain earlier in the day made the trail treacherous. We arrived back at our cars in one piece though without major incident.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Elevation Profile:

(Posted by: Al)

No Trifling Matter

Tonight we were on a mission: Al had arranged to meet Ian at Buriton to finalise arrangements for the 2009 Boy's Weekend reservation. Sadly Ian was hamstrung by a lighting deficiency and commitments at work and had got his excuses in early - he would take the car and meet us at the Five Bells in Buriton. Meanwhile we would head for the Five Bells from Hambledon using a route we've used a couple of times before via the QE Park and back up the Meon valley stopping off in East Meon.

Knowing that this was a rather longer ride than usual Jon arrived early in order that he might enjoy a customary cup of tea before the 'off'. This evening was also a little out-of-the-ordinary in that Billy-Bob was making his full-time return to the fold; he arrived home from his Antipodean sabbatical the weekend before. Keen to get back in the saddle, but anxious that his two-year pastry binge may have dented his form, Billy-Bob would borrow Al's spare bike for the evening.

Blotting his copy book the first night back, Billy-Bob's late arrival, and subsequent insistence that he still be included in the round of tea and biscuits, meant we left a little behind schedule at around 6.30pm. It was clear our old friend, resplendent in a pair of tracksuit bottoms he had procured for £3.50 from Asda, was suffering some sort of climate shock; complaining as he was about the temperature on a relatively mild, still night. In addition it was apparent that I had perhaps not emphasised strongly enough how much pressure of time we were under as Jon and Billy-Bob conducted their own impromptu Women's Institute meeting on the ride out of the village.

The climb out of Hambledon up to the Bat & Ball pub was largely uneventful although it was clear that Billy-Bob's fears would be realised - those kiwi pies were taking their toll - as he inquired rather desperately whether we would be stopping for a pint. Even if we had had the time a beer stop after only 3 miles would have been totally unprecedented - Jon and Al insisted we press on. The long climb up to Hyden Hill continued to punish Billy-Bob as he struggled with the ill-maintained gears on Al's spare bike; at one stage he even had to dismount and manually engage the lower gear on the front mech. Eventually we had broken the back of the climb and we could ease back for the ridge-ride to Butser Hill along a bridle path.

This easing back was cue for Jon and Billy-Bob to resume their nattering. At one point Al, who was now becoming perhaps a bit overbearing, was at pains to point out that we had 12 minutes to complete a descent of Butser Hill, ride through QE Park and tackle the steep climb and subsequent descent into Buriton. Eventually we reached Butser hill and were separated for a brief time as we hurtled down the hill. Al reached the bottom first and held the gate open for Jon and then Billy-Bob (carrying the imposition of a rigid bike) who arrived in quick succession. In a bizarre incident of disorientation Jon managed to get lost in the car park to the west of the main visitor's entrance - he reported later that he only realised something had gone awry when he was faced with two lanes of traffic coming towards him at high speed along the A3. It only took a matter of minutes for the trio to get reunited and Jon was sent as an advance party over the hill to Buriton.

Billy-Bob and Al caught up with Jon just in time to see a barn owl fly from a post just a few meters away from him. Jon had stopped to enjoy this spectacular encounter but was pressed into action once the owl had flown off. Al and Billy-Bob made their way more slowly up the hill and enjoyed the descent into the village; by the time they got to the pub Jon had located Ian, disrobed and was ready to get the beers in.

Suited and booted Ian had managed to secure the comfiest chairs in the pub (left) and the four sat down to enjoy their beer and discuss the administrative business in hand. However, it was not long before conversation inevitably turned to 'planning' (Jon, Ian and Billy-Bob are all planners by profession) and Al was keen to escape. We downed our beers, packed away papers, donned our gear and headed out into the night once more. Jon and Al reassured Billy-Bob that the back of the ride was broken and all that remained was a dawdle up the Meon Valley road.

Al looked nervously at his watch and already knew deep down that is was going to be a late one. Our relaxed, sociable riding pace and protracted discussions in the Five Bells had set us back. He tried to coax some urgency out of the other two as best he could but eventually decided it was a lost cause - he certainly wasn't about to forfeit another pub stop for an early night!

Jon and Al pulled up sharply in front of the Izaak Walton, the first pub encountered as one approaches East Meon from the east, as this was the first time either of them had seen this free house open. More typically the lights are off and the curtains drawn. Even with the lights on it did not look the most inviting pub, and competition in the village is strong with the outstanding Olde George round the corner. Billy-Bob had the casting vote and propped his bike purposely up against the wall. Al was first to the bar and ordered three pints of Ringwood's superb Seventy Eight, a spring beer "...brewed to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of the founding of Ringwood Brewery in March 1978". We also treated ourselves to a packet of pork scratchings, since it was a special occasion. The Izaak' is a proper traditional boozer, it took a while to get used to but it has that 'industrial' feel valued by all at the TCA.

Jon and Billy-Bob enjoy a 78 an' scratchings

Pints downed it was back in the saddle for the 'up-and-over' to Hambledon. Al estimated that it would be an hour back to base; an hour until dinnertime. This concept finally seemed to galvanize the other two into action and the pace picked up a bit. The final accent back onto the South Downs almost finished a decidedly out-of-shape Billy-Bob but soon the three riders were gliding downhill into the village.

Bikes safely stowed it was 10pm but the time we got in. Beef stew was dish-of-the-day but the pièce de résistance was the trifle (below) that Al had concocted (complete with hundreds-and-thousands!) to mark the auspicious occasion of Billy-Bob's return.

Welcome Home!

Route Map (cick to enlarge):

Elevation Profile:

(Posted by: Al)

Burying the Buriton Hatchet

With the Tour de France in crisis yet again over drug-taking allegations the TCA considered a silent protest ahead of their ride but time was pressing: We were behind schedule for the latest stage of our own adventure, this week from Hambledon to Buriton. In light of the weather forecast a contingency plan was in place in the event of 'rain of biblical proportions' but this was dismissed as the afternoon's heavy rain passed. Those who remember the account of our last visit to Buriton will no doubt recall the ensuing farce as the Sloppy Porridge Maker arrived in his 4x4 against the very ethos of the TCA's constitution: The TCA delegation set off to provide a one and only chance for the shamed rider to redeem himself.

Michael Rasmussen says "Stuff 'Le Tour' -
I'm off to join the TCA where I can take what I like"!

Jon exclaimed as we left that he always had a feeling that Rasmussen was cheating on account of him bring "extremely tall, thin and spotty". In any event he had obviously immersed himself in Le Tour as he set off, like the King of the Mountains, at a frantic pass out of Hambledon on the gradual ascent to The Bat and Ball. Al could handle the pace no more as the gradient increased towards the summit at Hyden Hill but Jon waited for Al before our route went off road for a short distance over Tegdown Hill. On towards the mighty Butser Hill and Jon conceded that, with his off-road tires and suspension, he had the more capable bike for the imminent descent to the Queen Elizabeth Country Park. Al, using his rigid bike fitted with road slicks, was keen to wager than he would make up for his lousy climbing ability and beat Jon to the bottom of the hill. He started to regret this decision as wheels, both rear and front, started locking up on the wet grass at the slightest touch on the brakes. He just about hung on to the bike and finally got away from Jon to win his pint of beer as the hill leveled out.

Still a little behind schedule we pressed on up and over the hill through the QE park before the steep descent into Buriton. Rolling into the car park at exactly 19.30, our predetermined rendezvous time, the Sloppy Porridge Maker (or Ian as he may now be known) did not let us down. Regaled in a magnificent fluorescent cycling jacket and hailing us with the immortal greeting "Two pints of bitter?", he instantly absolved any previous disagreement we might have had. In addition Jon and Al had recently failed their TCA dope test - their blood streams were found to have prohibitively low blood alcohol concentrations so the beers were long overdue.

Doped up: Al, Ian and Jon toast absent friends
at the Five Bells, Buriton

With our pints of River Cottage Stinger downed we mounted our bikes again and headed out of Buriton towards East Meon. Although the wind was gusty it was at least dry and occasionally the sun briefly made an appearance as we cycled steadily down the country lanes. Chat mainly revolved around logistics for next years 'boys weekend' scheduled for April in Scotland and other significant news since the fateful evening back in April when we last met.

Jon and Ian form the TCA peloton
on the way to East Meon

Arriving at Ye Olde George Inn at East Meon Jon got the riders a pint of Tanglefoot which was enjoyed on the quiet patio area at the rear of the pub. Ian, bound for a return to Petersfield, split from Jon and Al who headed over the South Downs ridge again for a return to Hambledon, and a traditional dinner of chilli con carne. The controversy-free future of the TCA seems back on track with any outstanding allegations of 'inappropriate vehicular application' lifted... if only it was this easy for all cycling institutions.

Tour de France, Drinkers

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Elevation Profile:

(Posted by: Al)

God Save the Queen

As a child I always used to feel frustrated when the producers of Scooby Doo tried to save some money by cobbling together a tenuous story-line to accompany a montage of clips from previous episodes. I feel similarly cheated now when they re-hash material from The Simpsons in the same fashion. However, I feel that this evening’s nostalgic ride might offer a similar opportunity, particularly since I again neglected to pack the camera.

With Jon away on his annual trip to 24 Heures du Mans John and I met up at the Queen Elizabeth Country Park for a change: There are a couple of designated mountain biking routes around the park itself but John proposed a circular route taking in part of the park routes and the South Downs way towards Harting. The route included a beer stop in Buriton which, with it’s several decent watering holes, was enough incentive for me to second the proposal.

Having followed John out of the visitor’s centre car park to the south and picking up a trail which skirted the park I soon realised we were on Chalton Lane, which I’d only previously cycled on the tandem (below). We passed tantalizingly close to the pub at Chalton as we tackled the short sharp ascent through the village. It had been raining all day and, although the evening had cleared nicely, it was warm and muggy. John had reverted to long trousers and a waterproof top but I felt I had made the right choice with shorts and t-shirt as we caught our breath at the top, sweating profusely.

On the way to the West Dean Chilli Festival

There followed a fast descent which crossed over the railway line and then picked up Huckswood Lane, a track which was familiar from the Chichester Challenge. Passing through Barnett Copse the track then turns into Cowdown Lane and then joins another familiar-looking road: We had entered 'Matthews territory' – picking up part of our regular Nyewood-West Marden route around West Harting Down, albeit in reverse, as we joined the bridle path at Huckshot farm.

Jon and Scott on West Harting Down

At forty acre lane we rode a section of the South Downs way which has already been very well-ridden (and trodden) by the TCA in various guises (below). For instance, I remembered walking this part of the route loaded down with an unfeasible amount of equipment for a one-night hike to Heyshot with Billy-Bob in the pre-blog days.

Al & Tee on their South Downs Walk

Al & Jon take a break in the same place
on the Chichester Challenge

Having arrived at the road between Sunwood Farm and North Lodge John introduced me to the Milky Way, a track I was unfamiliar with which leads steeply down to Buriton from the South Downs Way. We stopped at the Five Bells, one of my personal favourites, for a pint reminiscent of the time Jon and I waited for Sloppy Porridge Maker a few weeks ago (below).

The TCA's last visit to Buriton

I tried a pint of River Cottage Stinger, a seasonal (nettle-based!) beer brewed by Hall & Woodhouse (Badger). John opted for the more ‘common & garden’ Badger Best. The blurb read “a grassy herbal aroma with subtle gooseberry and lemon citrus notes that build up towards the end of the glass. It is finished with a slightly spicy after taste that lingers beautifully” I would simply say that the Stinger was the best beer I have sampled in a good long while. We toasted absent friends, many of whom I know would have relished a Stinger themselves.

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall from River Cottage says,
"I'll stick to cooking, the TCA's too tough for me"

It might have been my imagination but I’m sure we took a little longer to drink our beers than usual; we both knew that we had the infamous climb back up to the QE park ahead of us (these climbs are always worse straight after a beer when it feels as if you’re only firing on three cylinders)!

Eventually arriving at the top end of the Country Park we picked up the ‘purple’ (novice) route which wended it’s way gently through the trees and eventually back to the car park where we began. One more step towards full TCA membership for John as he had successfully passed the test to devise a suitable new route for the ride. We returned to Hambledon for a celebratory curry as we watched ‘Britain’s got Talent’ - can reality TV descend any lower, we asked?

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Elevation Profile:

Speed Profile:

(Posted by: Al)

Buriton Betrayal

With John using one of the lamest excuses in TCA history; “I have to pick up a camper van”, and Jon’s bike hamstrung by a succession of technical faults, with parts on order, it was looking bleak for the long-awaited trip to Buriton. However, Jon resorted to taking his ancient rigid bike out of mothballs and, having tweaked the brakes and pumped up his tyres, arrived in Hambledon with his day-glo monstrosity (below).

With more mileage than usual to cover this evening we rushed to get ready, donning our usual garb and making last-minute adjustments to equipment and lights. We were out of the house before 6.30pm. At about 6.40pm we were in a lay-by, Jon’s bike upside down to attend to the problem of his rear tyre rubbing against the frame. Was it going to be another one of ‘those’ evenings we thought to ourselves as Jon undid the well-worn nuts with one of the various adjustable spanners which have to accompany an evening out on his ‘old school’ bike.

With Jon’s pedaling efficiency vastly increased following the pit-stop our average speed increased considerably: Al’s mapping software suggested that we would only be home in reasonable time for dinner if we maintained an average speed of over 10 mph and we had the formidable Butser Hill ahead of us. As we made our way up past the Bat & Ball and up to the ridge of the South Downs Al supplied the appropriate ‘encouragement’ to Jon “Come on you miserable worm, the average speed is only 8.7 mph!” or “Step it up you lousy piece of…” you know the kind of thing.

It was raining lightly when we left Hambledon but the evening cleared offering magnificent views down the Meon Vally from Butser Hill – we could trace the return route at the foot of the downs and also see the second ascent through the Queen Elizabeth Country Park across the valley ahead. The descent of Butser Hill was terrific although we were both rattled around a bit more than usual as we longed for our plush suspension bikes. With 30 minutes in hand before our scheduled appointment at Buriton we steeled ourselves for the final serious ascent of the evening from the visitor’s centre.

Joining the road for the descent into the village we were soon pulling our bikes into the garden of one of the TCA’s favorite pubs (curiously we had never cycled here before though), the Five Bells. Knowing we would have had the full endorsement of Tortoiseshell we ordered two pints of Badger’s Tanglefoot and waited for our rendezvous.

This had been a ride several weeks in the planning, conceived during the recent Boy’s Weekend. Our contact, in the blogosphere known only as ‘Sloppy Porridge Maker’ (SPM), was to cycle the relatively short distance from his home in Petersfield and join us for a couple of beers. Imagine our disgust as the familiar form of our acquaintance emerged, not in the saddle but from the comfort of his Landrover Explorer! The excuse provided was so tenuous I struggle to remember it… something to do with work. Shame.

Sloppy Porridge Maker (identity withheld for fear of retribution),
Jon and Al enjoy a pint at the Five Bells, Buriton

We shared a quick beer with SPM and tried to hide our distain as best we could. SPM vowed to plan things a little better and cycle next time. Nevertheless we drank our pints swiftly, made our excuses and left the muggle to his own devices, only to see him briefly as his Chelsea tractor overtook us on the road out of Buriton spewing it’s carbon dioxide as it went; ‘next time’ indeed.

Knowing that we had tackled the most serious climbs and that the rest of the route was road-based Jon and Al settled back into the saddle for a leisurely ride down the meandering country lanes towards Frogmore and East Meon. We stopped for a second beer at Ye Olde George as a reward for keeping the average speed above the critical level. More Badger beer to choose from but we plumped for Tanglefoot again as we sat in the pub garden and enjoyed the cool, clear evening.

A toast to absent friends

Suitably reconstituted we headed back towards home with a final climb over the downs and a speedy down-hill approach to Hambledon. We made it home in good time; perfect time as Tee took a delicious home-made lasagna out of the oven. Jon and Al both felt that the route was really worthwhile, of an ideal length with top-class pubs and reluctantly agreed we would indeed give SPM one last chance in due course.

Route Map (click to enlarge):

Elevation Profile:

Speed Profile:

(Posted by: Al)